NopeNopeNopeNopeNope

It has happened.  The inevitable has happened.  I've finally reached maximum NOPE status and I'm thiiiiiiiis close to packing my bags and high-tailing it out of Mexico and heading for less terrifying climates.  To say I am ready for winter is the world's biggest understatement.  I need all of the creepy crawlies to go back to hell where they came from!!!  

Yesterday, while simply moving a chair out of my way, I found this DEMON MONSTER underneath and I gasped loud enough for the neighbors to hear before screaming bloody murder for Ty.  He found me shaking and pointing aggressively at the floor.... 

Granted, this killer beast was dead when I found it... (Ortho Home Defense perimeter spray is the only way I can sleep at night) but that didn't stop me from shrieking and standing on furniture so as not to be on the same surface as it.  That's normal, right?  If I had seen that thing ALIVE and crawling across the floor, for sure I woulda given myself a heart attack from all of the screaming and hyperventilating.  I'm getting woozy just thinking about it.  And if this is the shriveled up version of it...how big was it before???  I can't even.  

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???"  A quick Google search (which is never a good idea) of "giant spider with tiny pinchers" informed us that this thing of my future nightmares, isn't a spider....in fact, it is a "tailless whip scorpion."  OH, AWESOME.  OF COURSE THERE IS A SCORPION THAT LOOKS LIKE A SPIDER.  Kill me.  This is the part where I spent a solid 15 minutes jumping frantically around our living room because I felt like things were crawling on me, which led to me jumping in the pool to calm my itchy skin and then dry-heaving every time I thought about the fact that I just found a giant scorpion-spider hybrid with legs eight feet long.  

And, just two weeks ago, I found a "normal" scorpion munching on a cockroach and I thought THAT was the grossest thing I had seen so far.  I thought for sure that couldn't be topped.  That had to be the highest level of grossness, right?  Even after alllllll of the things I wrote about in my last post about my disgusting encounters with creatures from the underworld...I thought I was done being out-noped.  But, NOOOOOPE.  

In case you're wondering, these toddler-sized scream-inducers are not poisonous or harmful to humans according to this blog post I read (aka skimmed through while not looking directly at the photos, because, gross.)  So that means their sole purpose is to haunt your dreams.  Have fun trying to sleep tonight.  You're welcome.    

And because misery loves company....heeeeeeere you go.  

I Need a Vacation from my Vacation

Ty and I vacationed in La Cruz three years in a row before we (he) decided we were gonna move here permanently... It was a cold Seattle night on the couch and he had had a few beers when he saw his friend post a room for rent on Facebook in Nicaragua.  From that moment on, there was no changing his mind... "Life's too short, we're doing it wrong," became his mantra and within 7 months, everything we owned was sold and we were on the road headed south. 

Living in paradise and visiting paradise are two very different experiences.  Yes, I get to look at this view everyday... No, I never have to set an alarm clock.  Yes, it's awesome having my unstressed, always-happy husband back.  But... I miss the excitement of getting to plan a vacation somewhere so different from where I live.  I miss getting to research hotels and drool over photos of places I wanna visit.  I miss counting down the days until you get to ditch the dreary rain and head for warmer climates.  I miss falling in love with a tiny town (La Cruz) and being absolutely giddy to return the following year.  

But planning a vacation when you live in paradise, also feels kinda silly.  Like...where are we gonna go?  Let's go to Hawaii and pay triple what we do here?  Are we gonna shell out a bazillion dollars to visit Europe?  (The cheapest airfare I found from Vallarta to Paris would set us back $6,800.)  Since we live in a "special" place, are we gonna go on vacation to a "normal" place...like, Ohio?  I'm sure you feel really sorry for us, right??  

Another reason why I'm feeling mopey...is because as people who operate a beachfront hotel in the Bay, we don't get to celebrate the holidays.  High season here is from about November to April and the holidays are the busiest time, tourist-wise.  Jardin is 100% filled to capacity during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.  So, that means we'll be super busy working instead of celebrating.  And to add insult to injury, we'll be working while watching all of our guests have the time of their lives.  That's a bittersweet feeling for yours truly.  I had thought before we moved here that we would for sure adopt some new holiday traditions, but I never thought the tradition would be to skip them entirely.  Wah, waaaaah.... 

Every time I talk to an excited guest about planning their vacation at the hotel, I'm happy for them...but a little bummed for myself.  I miss being the super excited guest!!  I miss having something to plan and look forward to.  I miss going shopping for cute vacation outfits and getting pre-vacay pedicures.  (I'm very aware of how whiney this whole post is, but I'm okay with it.)  

Sooooo, after my most recent stint of feeling super sorry for myself, I mighta convinced Ty that we should get outta here before all the hotel madness starts.  And it only took a minimal amount of threatening to cry over not getting to have Christmas for him to agree!  Haha.  So, we're officially going on vacation in between Thanksgiving and Christmas and calling it our holiday celebration!  (I also had to agree not to ask for a single thing until my birthday next summer, but we'll see about that.) 

Flying somewhere was going to be too expensive for an impromptu trip (we looked at going to Belize since it's not too far from here, but it would involve a 15-hour layover in Houston both ways and cost a thousand bucks per person.  So stupid.)  So, we decided to pick somewhere a little closer and to make the 11-hour drive down to Zihuatanejo (zee-whot-uh-nay-ho) simply because we've never been there (and Shawshank Redemption is one of my favorite movies.  Duh.)  We rented a fully-equipped Casita just a few blocks from famous Playa la Ropa for 7 glorious nights.  

(Google photo)

Technically, this will be our first true (relaxing) vacation since visiting Nicaragua almost two years ago.  Finally, we get to be the ones playing tourists again instead of hosts.  We get to sleep in an air-conditioned room without worrying about the electric bill.  We get to explore new restaurants instead of asking each other what boring thing we should make for dinner.  We get to relax on the beach instead of making yet another trip to Costco for toilet paper and laundry detergent.  I get to lounge by the pool and read a book instead of being glued to a computer all day.  Yippeeeee!!!

Okay, speaking of worky things... I gotta go finish painting the bathroom in Casa Palapa in the sweltering heat, so I'm off!!  

Is it Winter Yet?

Well, I've been home from my month of Spanish immersion school for a couple of weeks...and it's HOT.  Like, every minute of every day is spent sweating, complaining about sweating, sitting directly in front of a fan and mopping up my greasy face.  Sexy.  It's still in the 80s as per usual, but the "feels like" temps have been over a hundred a few times this past week and 90% humidity.  Kill me.

All my friends back home are posting pictures of golden foliage and fall boots and talking about pumpkin-flavored coffee, while Ty and I are jumping in the pool naked and dragging Bloo in with us even though he hates it.  We're still getting the occasional thunderstorm and when we do, it feels like (very brief) glorious relief.  We're all miserable and ready for winter.

Speaking of thunder storms... Tropical Storm Pilar created a few hiccups in my travel plans coming back from San Miguel a couple weekends ago!  Ty drove me to school, but I had booked a flight to get home because it was super cheap.  But turns out Pilar planned to hit Puerto Vallarta the same night my flight was scheduled to land.  I had been hearing the wind and flood warnings in the Bay and I got really nervous about my flight being cancelled because I would be stranded in the Leon airport alone overnight, or have to scramble to find a hotel or some other terrible adulty things I didn't wanna deal with in the middle of crisis mode.  But more importantly, I was super homesick and just wanted to get home to my family. 

My one-hour flight from BJX to PVR departed 20 minutes late and almost immediately after we were airborne the crew announced that the Vallarta airport was CLOSED.  Um, say what meow?  A few minutes later they announced that the airport had instructed them to remain in a "holding pattern" and not to approach the storm.  Awesome.  So we slowed down and killed time by swerving back and forth over inland Mexico for over an hour unsure if we were going to make it to Vallarta.  Finally, we hear, "We've been cleared for landing" and I was immediately relieved only to hear, "Nevermind, we have to return to Leon," like 2 minutes later.  I might have actually cried at that point, but you can't prove it.  

Meanwhile, Ty was sitting in the airport parking lot for 90 minutes (with Bloo and Luna) in pouring rain and flooding waters waiting for me because my flight wasn't being updated online.  He had no idea that my flight was delayed or where I was.  It wasn't until my plane got sent BACK to Leon and we landed that I got his umpteen text messages and I was finally able to tell him I wasn't coming.  I was a bit of a hot mess, to say the least.  And to top it all off, my phone was nearly dead (and there were no outlets on the little commuter plane) so I wouldn't be able to update him (or my panicked mother) either.  Double hot mess.  

Not gonna lie, he's cute when he's worried.  And yes, he really does call me "friend" as if it's my real name.  Ha.  

Long story, short... We sat on the runway for another 45 minutes waiting for new information and then they decided to reattempt the flight to Vallarta for the second time three hours after the original departure time.  I've never been so happy for a plane to land.  I was off the plane and out of the airport in 10 minutes (hooray for domestic flights!) and grabbed the first cab I saw... I didn't even haggle with him, I woulda payed double. 

When we got near Mega in Bucerias the highway was totally and completed flooded for hundreds of yards (at least a foot of rushing water) and I started panicking when I realized Ty had to drive through the same flood to get home.  But in true Mexican style, the taxi driver just put on his emergency flashers and drove right through the "river."  I've also never been so happy for a taxi to arrive at my front door.  I was finally home!!!  Four hours late, but I made it.  It was late and the gate was locked (Ty didn't think I was gonna make it back that night) and I rang the doorbell about 30 times and woke up all the neighborhood dogs, including ours.  Sorry, not sorry.  

Not much else is new with us... We've been busy working on maintenance and upgrades around the hotel to get ready for high season while the place is empty.  I've given myself, Ty and the staff lists of to-dos to get done before guests start arriving next month, so everyone is busy working on crossing things off (apparently "go golfing 3-4 times per week" was on Ty's list though...hmm.)  I've been super busy revamping all of our photos, website, booking profiles, social media, etc.  I need to step away from the computer though, because it seems we ONLY get reservations when we're not working.  Like, I've spent probably 50 hours on the computer this past week, and then as soon as we got to a sports bar yesterday to watch football, ding ding!  New reservation for January.  Go figure.

Looking ahead at our calendar kinda makes my head woozy though.  It's gonna be a whirlwind.  Since we reopened the hotel so late in the season last winter, it was really more like a "soft opening" and all of our reservations were kinda last-minute...so this upcoming winter will be our first full tourist season.  There will be a lot of crazy days with all hands on deck...like, a family of 15 people checking out the same day 18 new guests are checking in.  (Ty will probably try to convince me to let him go golfing that day.)  Fun times!  

Well, that's all the super-interesting updates I have for now... We're taking the dogs for a car ride so we can all sit in front of some air conditioning for a while.  It's okay to be jealous.  

Adiós, San Miguel!

I'M DONE WITH SPANISH SCHOOL!!!  Yesterday was my last day of class, and I couldn't be happier that it's finally over.  Four weeks might as well have been four months and I'm so ready to go home tomorrow.  I miss my dorky little family like you wouldn't believe.  If I ever do something like this again (right now that seems highly unlikely) I would rent a house for a month and drag Ty and Bloo along with me.  Having someone to study/vent with and to explore San Miguel with these past few weeks would have been a game-charger in my bad attitude department.  School was over-whelming, but feeling lonely and homesick for a month was miserable.  

It's a super special town... I just hope I don't associate it with stress from here on out! 

The part I liked about school the least were the daily "compositions" we had to write every night, which were basically a 2-3 paragraph short story incorporating the grammatical elements we learned the previous day.  Every morning we'd each read our composition aloud to the class as our teacher talked over us the entire time correcting every tiny error, every forgotten "de, le, a, por," every mispronounced syllable, and every wrong conjugation.  It may sound helpful, but actually it just felt really belittling to all of us.  His whole teaching "style" was like that... Super picky, never complimentary and condescending.

It wasn't a motivating environment for yours truly.  He also wasted a lot of time on tangents and beating a (pointless) topic to death and then under-explaining things that were actually important because we ran out of time... He once went on a 20-minute rant about all the different ways to order a cup of coffee and which ways were more efficient.  (Uh, pretty sure I can say "Café, por favor," and a cup of coffee will magically appear.)  And another time, while I was reading an excerpt from a book, he kept talking over me to correct my CADENCE.  That's right.  He didn't even like my tempo or inflections.  We couldn't do anything right ever.  I rolled my eyes extra hard that day.    

For our last assignment...the intermediate students had to give a 20-30 minute "speech" (basically just talking about a topic of our choice in bad Spanish) and then we had to answer questions from the teacher and other students for another 20-30 minutes.  Mind you...we were given a whopping 20 hours notice for this "final project" so writing a speech and memorizing it wasn't gonna happen.  I made a feeble attempt at jotting some thoughts down on paper Thursday night before shrugging my shoulders and deciding to just "wing it" the next day.  Either I can speak Spanish, or I can't.  Besides...what's he gonna do, fail me?

Friday morning before class I was chatting with my classmates, who all seemed super nervous as well as shocked when I told them I didn't have a topic in mind yet... They each had written out outlines of their talks (even though we weren't allowed to look at notes or have anything on our desk when our turn came)... I knew I was going third, so while the first and second students spoke, I decided to just talk about all the times I've embarrassed myself while struggling to learn Spanish over the last two years.  Making groups of people laugh (especially when I'm nervous or uncomfortable) has always been something I'm good at, and turns out I'm a stand-up comedian in Spanish too.  Duh.  I had the whole room laughing, even my stick-in-the-mud teacher couldn't help but let out a few smirks.  

I told them about the many times I've confused the word for "embarrassed" (avergonzado) for the word "pregnant" (embarazada)... I told them about the time I thought a man was complimenting my hair (cabello) and I giggled and thanked him like an uber nerd, and then someone told me he was asking me if I liked horses (caballos.)  Face palm.  I told them about the time I ordered sandy tacos (tacos de arena) instead of flour tacos (tacos de harina)...and my many other Gringo failures.  

After my 30 minutes of story-telling were up, people asked me questions about what I intend to do to continue to learn Spanish, my teacher asked how my impression of Mexico has changed since moving here, etc.  It was actually pretty fun and although I messed up a lot (whoever decided Spanish needed TWO past tense conjugations is real jerk) I was understood well enough and if we were actually being graded, I'm sure I would have passed with flying colors.  Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.  But whatever.  

Overall, I don't know if I'm much better at Spanish after all this... If anything I speak much slower now, because now I know 20+ conjugations of every verb instead of just 4-5 and so I overthink every little thing I say.  Again, why there are two past tenses in Spanish, is beyond me!!

Before I came here, I was only speaking in the present tense and using "time" words (yesterday, this morning, next week, etc.) to help the person I was speaking to understand what I was trying (and failing) to say.  So, instead of saying "I went to the store yesterday."  It was more like... "I go to the store yesterday," because up until a few weeks ago I didn't know past tenses.  (Even just typing that grammatically incorrect sentence makes my perfectionist nerd brain cringe.)  

Also... My brain feels like a jumbled hot mess tornado of English and Spanish words right now.  For weeks, I've been flip-flopping between the two languages usually mid-sentence... I wrote out a list the other day of things I want to get done when I get back to Jardin, and only after I was finished writing it did I notice that half of it was in Spanish and half was in English.  Some examples: 

• Finish painting the baño en Serena
• Escribir a new Welcome Letter para los huéspedes 
• Comprar more artwork for Santiago
• Replace low-quality fotos en línea 
• Update all calendarios

You get the point.  Talk about Spanglish. 

I'll also read something in passing (a product label, or a sign or something on the street) and about 10 seconds later it dawns on me that I don't know if I was reading Spanish or English.  I read it subconsciously and understood what it said, but I don't know which language it was thinking back on it.  It's a very strange phenomenon and I don't know how people who speak multiple languages keep them all separate in their heads.  

I think it'll take getting back into my old routine and being around my usual Spanish-speakers to really know if I'm any better at understanding and speaking the language.  Amazingly, I've been able to understand at least 95% of what the instructors have been saying since I arrived here (they speak almost zero English in class) which feels super encouraging.  Granted, they're language teachers, so they speak clearly and don't use slang, etc. but damn!  I actually understand Spanish!  Now if only I could get the gardener to slow down and stop mumbling, I'd be all set.  In 9 months, I've understood almost nothing of what he has said to me.  Fun. 

Yesterday, after classes were over, we had our last "cooking class" as a group...which is basically just the school director cooking us a free lunch.  Score.  Yesterday we (she) made super tasty Chile Rellano and we all sat around the dining table and talked about going home.  None of us are perfect Spanish speakers, but it was neat to see how far everyone has come since our first group meal.  And by "far" I mean slightly less terrible, of course.   

Since today is my last full day in San Miguel, I decided to play tourist a bit and explore new parts of the city I haven't seen yet.  And I think I'm going to swing by the Artisan Market to pick up a few graduation gifts for myself.  Sorry, babe.  (Except not sorry.) 

Tomorrow afternoon I'm getting picked up by a shuttle company and making the 1.5 hour trek to the León Airport and then taking a quick 55-minute flight to my beloved Bahía de Banderas where my sweet man-boy and dorky pups will be waiting for me with open arms and lots of kisses.  (Right, babe?)  And then I'll proceed to melt my friggen face off and make whiny Facebook posts about how hot it is.  Because, duh.

Adiós, San Miguel!  

My Brain Hurts

Okay, first (muy importante) order of business:  Ty just sent me this (terrible quality) photo of my little nerd babies!  Bloo, of course, couldn't care less about posing for mama but Luna is always the most excited little derp you ever did see.  Man, I miss my dorky little family... 

Secondly: If you're wondering about the earthquake that happened last night in Southwestern Mexico, Ty and I were both far, far away from it, and the tsunami advisory in Vallarta was lifted before noon today, so estamos bien.  I woke up to about a dozen messages from friends and family making sure we were okay... It's a scary thing to wake up in the middle of the night and see your phone blowing up.  I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see what the messages said right away, but my first thought was that something terrible had happened to Ty and that people were trying to contact me.  About nearly gave me a friggen heart attack.  We do have friends staying in Oaxaca right now, which was heavily affected by the earthquake, but I was able to get a hold of them this morning and they're safe.  Scary times right now... Mother Nature sure is pissed off lately.  

But anyway...what was I gonna write about?  Oh, yeah.  

I survived my second week of Spanglish school!!!  I couldn't be happier that it's Friday and that I get to sleep in tomorrow... my brain legit hurts as I'm typing this and I feel like Spanish words are gonna start oozing out of nose and ears.  No hay más espacio en mi cabeza!  I'm also getting worse at speaking and spelling in English as I get better at Spanish, so that's fun. 

Today marks the halfway point of my immersion school experience.  Two weeks down, two weeks to go.  On Monday, I ditched the private tutor and beginner class and joined the regular intermediate class where I should have been put in the first damn place.  (Insert super annoyed eye roll here.)  I spent most of Monday feeling pretty butt hurt that I wasn't put in there to begin with because my whole first week felt like a waste, but also because I was a week behind the three other students in the intermediate class and I missed a lot of important stuff.  I angry-studied for like 5-6 hours on Monday night in an effort to catch up.  

By the end of each school day, my brain feels like a bowl of hot mush, but at least I'm being challenged and learning new vocabulary, unlike last week.  Although, skimming ahead in my intermediate book also makes me feel overwhelmed by how much more there is for me to learn.  It feels like I have YEARS and YEARS to go until I'm fluent... And as a crazy person, I don't know how to settle for being "just okay" at something, so I'm already trying to figure out what I'm going to do to keep learning after school is over.  Oy.  

A typical day for me now, since I'm sure you're just dying to know:

• My alarm goes off at 7:00am every morning (say what?!) and I schlep downstairs to the kitchen to make myself coffee... While it's brewing, I wash the dishes from the day before and make something super exciting for breakfast...like oatmeal or toast.  (I miss Ty's cooking to say the least.) 

• I take my giant cup of coffee upstairs and then I clean my room and (kinda) make my bed before getting ready for school.  Daily housekeeping is included in my stay in the "dorms" but it's absolutely ridiculous considering I am one little person living in a massive three-story house all alone.  So, my room gets unnecessarily cleaned six times per week.  And as I mentioned in a recent post, housekeeping is one of the things I don't really like about living in Mexico.  I hate feeling like I have to pick up something immediately, because if I don't, someone else is gonna come along and do it for me as if I'm some kind of adult baby.  (Of course, I AM an adult baby...but that's something only Ty gets to experience first hand.  Lucky him.) 

• After I clean my room, I get ready for school... Which consists of putting on long yoga pants, two pairs of socks (not joking), a tank top (because that's all I have) and one of the four hoodies/jackets I still own.  I'm constantly freezing here, and I can't wear 80% of what I packed or I'd for sure turn into a gringo popsicle.  But it's not like I could have packed much better for this trip (aside from more closed-toe shoes) because I don't own warm clothes anymore!  Good thing I don't care about impressing any of my classmates with my (lack of) fashion sense, because I'm the girl wearing the same Seahawks hoodie like 3 times per week.  Sexy.  

Side note:  I know I said I was enjoying the cool weather here, but I'm seriously freezing all day long.  It's been in the low 60s for the last several days (low 50s at night) and I'm constantly wearing multiple layers of clothing.  Our classrooms are ice boxes because the doors and windows are kept open all day, and by the end of class my toes are stinging cold.  The housekeeper insists on keeping all the doors and windows in my house cracked open, so as soon as she's done cleaning for the day I go around and close them back up.  I have a wall heater in my room, but it looks like an ancient artifact and you hafta light it with an actual match...and I don't wanna be known as the girl who burned down Spanglish school, so I've just been bundling under my covers after class.  I saw that it's supposed to get up into the 70s next week, so if you need me, I'll be curled up on the warm courtyard tiles like a stray dog.

   

• Classes are supposed to start at 9:00am, but the instructors are always arriving a few minutes late and the students likes to socialize (aka whine about how hard it is to learn Spanish) before the first bell, so we never start on time.  From 9:00-ish to 10:45 we work in our textbooks and learn technical grammar-y things... How to form accurate sentences, questions, responses, different tenses of verbs, etc.  "Real" school stuff.  This is where my brain starts going gooey.  Sometimes I find myself just rolling my eyes and thinking, "Ugh.  Seriously?"  Like...when I confuse crap like this:

• él jugó = he played / el jugo = the juice
• yo siento = I sit / yo siento = I feel  (yes, they're exactly the same)
• cuarto = bedroom / cuarto = fourth / cuatro = four
• que = who, that / qué = what, how
• porque = because / por qué = why 
• solo = alone / sólo = only  
• las compras = the purchases / tú compras = you buy (So.. Tú compras las compras = You buy the purchases.) 
• como = I eat / como = like, as / cómo = how
• You get my point.... 

• We take our "tea break" from about 10:45-11:15, which is just basically more complaining except with warm beverages in hand.  

• From 11:15 to noon we do the "conversation" portion of the day with a different teacher... I assume they rotate teachers for this portion to make the students feel more relaxed.  I'm sure some of the struggling students (who are constantly getting corrected by their usual teacher) might feel nervous to have to "perform" for someone they are nervous around... But maybe I'm just making that up.  Our normal teacher can be fun, but he's also very technical.  Our maestra de conversación is a cute, animated grandma-type who you just wanna hug goodbye at the end of each day.  She goes around the room and asks us each the same question (like...what our plans are for the weekend or what our family is like, etc.), to which we have to answer in full sentences...and it's usually a hot mess of bad accents and stumbling through incorrect verb conjugations, but we have fun with it...  

• For the last hour of the day, we do a vocabulary segment with our usual teacher... Which in the beginner class, it was like learning the names of vegetables and the months of the year, etc.  In intermediate, it's more in-depth stuff like characteristics (adjectives), popular sayings/expressions that don't translate into English, professions and a million other words I'm never gonna remember.  This is where my brain reaches full goo status, so it's a good thing it's the last class of the day.  

• Classes end at 1:00pm and I usually make myself some more toast or eat an apple for lunch (Seriously, why didn't I bring Ty with me?) and then I go upstairs to lie down for a while and try to recuperate from all the learning.       

• My evenings are usually spent reading, studying, doing homework, cooking dinner, whining at Ty on the phone about how much I miss him (aka Bloo), hanging out in a big, quiet house all alone and going to bed early.  So, I'm basically a Spanglish monk now.  Its okay to be jealous. 

In other news, since my other housemate left and I'm currently living alone in a house with 6 beds... I emailed the director last weekend and asked if I could move to the room across the hall because I noticed the mattresses in there weren't as hard as granite counter tops.  Ahhhh...heaven.  So, I've been sleeping much better this week and I like my new room better too.  It only has two twin beds instead of three...one for me to sleep on, and another one for me to pile all my crap on.  Perfect.  It also has a big, overstuffed, comfy chair and ottoman (there was no couch in my other room), as well as a desk, a vanity, private bathroom and a lot more natural lighting.  The internet modem for the whole back half of the property is also in my room... So, duh.  Best room in the house.  The only thing I don't like about it is that the closet is outside my room in the hallway, but considering I still haven't bothered to unpack more than a third of my suitcase, I guess I don't really care about that. 

I haven't done much socializing outside of the school yet, but I got invited to go to a bull fight tomorrow night and a concert/lunch thing on Sunday afternoon.  I thought the bull fight sounded like an "interesting" cultural experience and was considering going until I realized that the bull actually gets killed...so, that's a hard pass for yours truly.  I'm the girl who rescues crabs from getting squished in the road, so there's no way I could watch a helpless animal be forced to fight in a rigged battle while a thousand people cheer.  I don't think I'm going to the concert on Sunday either, because, duh, the Seahawks are playing!!!  I found myself a sports bar about a 20 minute walk from school, so I guess I'm being anti-social again this weekend too.  Oh well.  

Things back home seem pretty monk-ish for Ty too... There have been lots of big storms and heavy rains in the Bay the last few weeks, so he's been going several days at a time without his precious WiFi and as soon as it gets fixed another storm knocks it back out...and, to top it off, he hasn't been able to golf either because the course has been closed on account of it being a mushy swamp.  So, we're both living super exciting lives at the moment... He's been invited over to friends' houses for dinners a few times since I've been gone too...because people must assume he's helpless without me, which is ironic since he takes care of me more than I take care of him.  Either that, or they just don't like me...which is impossible, because have you met me?  Duh.  

Next weekend is Mexican Independence Day and there are going to be tons of parties and festivals and fireworks, so I'll for sure be venturing out to enjoy the festivities, hopefully with some classmates.  Stay tuned for photos!  

San Miguel: One week down...

Despite getting off to a rocky start, I survived my first week of Spanish school... Here's my first week broken down day by day, because I'm sure you're just dying to know:

~ Sunday ~

Ty had to leave San Miguel early to get back to Vallarta before dark...which meant I had a few hours to kill in the hotel room (a.k.a. try to stop crying) before I needed to be at the school around noon.  I caught a taxi uptown to school and knocked on the big, wooden doors around 11:30am.  One of the teachers, who I learned lives onsite, answered in her pajamas and showed me to my room, while asking me a few questions about myself.  

I was worried at first, because the room had three twin beds and I had requested a private room months prior, but she assured me I was going to be the only one staying in it.  She also explained there was another student staying upstairs and that there might be another coming later in the week but the hurricane in Houston had messed up their travel plans, so she wasn't sure.  (By the way this is all happening in Spanish, of course.)

She showed me a few things in my room, and then she left me there alone.  I found it odd there was no sort of "orientation" no tour of the grounds, no instructions on where I was supposed to go in the morning for class, etc.  So, I unpacked a few things, took a nap and then left on foot in search of a "celebratory" dinner.  I thought I deserved a reward for stepping so far out of my anti-adulting comfort zone, so I treated myself to a fancy steak dinner which turned out to be totally weird and awkward.  I hate dining alone.  

When I got back to the school, I looked around the property on my own a bit... When you first walk in the doors, there's an administration office/lobby area, then it goes out to a courtyard with a fountain and some tables and chairs... if you go to the left that'll take you to the classrooms and if you go to the right, down a set of stairs and through the garden...that's where the student housing is.  Student housing is essentially just a big, 3-story house.  The whole ground floor is one big common area, with a large, modern (for Mexico) kitchen, a dining table, couches, foosbol table, seating areas, etc.  The second floor has two bedrooms, mine and another one across the hall.  The third floor has one more bedroom and also access to a third and FOURTH story rooftop deck. 

My school from the road... 

The classrooms are on the right... The double doors lead to the lobby and the street.  

The main courtyard where we take our "tea breaks" around 11:00am every morning... 

Student housing at the rear of the property....it was only built 8 years ago, but the school itself is over 50 years old.   

Shared kitchen... 

The "TV area"....hahahaaa!  

Shared dining and living room... 

My quaint bedroom and private bathroom.... 

View from the 4th story rooftop deck....that's much too high for yours truly, so I don't think I'll be hanging out up there too often. 

Looking down on the third story rooftop....the beginner classroom is across the way.

~ Monday ~

I barely slept at all on Sunday night because my bed has the hardest mattresses I've ever slept on in my life.  I've had a better night's sleep while sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag.  It was like trying to get comfortable on a surgical table.  Awesome.  Only 27 nights to go!

I still didn't know where I was supposed to go, but I remembered that classes started at 9:00, so at about 8:45 I walked up to the courtyard and was shocked to see about 15-20 white people in the lobby.  Say what?!  When the teacher told me there weren't going to be any more students staying at the house, I assumed that meant the classes were going to be really small too.  But the place was buzzing!  I met a nice man, probably in his late 60s, who visits San Miguel a few months a year, and another man from Montana who wanted to learn Spanish for work...and a few others who were staying with friends in town.  Not surprisingly, I was the youngest Gringo at Spanglish school and got asked lots of questions by curious retirees, as per usual.  

I had read online that I would be "interviewed" on my first day so they could determine which class to put me in, but that was just basically the teacher showing me to my room on Sunday and asking me a few questions and then asking me a few more questions on Monday morning like 5 minutes before classes were supposed to start.  But...the problem is, people ask the same questions all the time, so she was only asking questions I've answered a million times already and I can just rattle off my responses in Spanish without many hiccups or pauses.  Where do you live?  What do you do?  Where are you from?  Blah, blah, blah.  In my opinion, that's not a true test of my skill level...it's deceiving, if anything, because I often times sound more advanced than I really am.

Yes, I get by just fine with my current knowledge of Spanish, but I came to school with the hopes of cleaning up my Spanish...and also to be able to comprehend better when other people are talking to me.  I wanted to tell someone that I speak, write and read it pretty well, but I need to improve my comprehension.  I wanted to tell someone that I have no formal Spanish education (sorry, Sean, you don't count!), I wanted to tell someone that when I moved here 15 months ago I didn't even know how to say "My name is..." or the days of the week.  I wanted to tell someone my Spanish is "boots on the ground" Spanish, not technical or textbook.  But I never got the opportunity.  I was told I was intermediate based on my verbal responses to their generic questions and put in a class with one other person (who happened to also be my only housemate...more on her later.) 

After 20 minutes, I knew I was in the wrong class.  The only other student in class had been here a MONTH already and was starting her second month.  And the first day was just reviewing what SHE had just learned the month before... After she and the instructor carried on a 5-minute conversation in Spanish while making me feel totally invisible in the process, I knew I didn't want to be in there for a month.  When I didn't know the answers to the questions or understand what the instructor was saying, the other student would look at me like, "Why are you here?"  It was pretty humiliating and discouraging.  And it was only the first hour of the first day.

In Spanish, I told the instructor that I didn't think I was put in the right class, and she laughed.  Probably at all the mistakes I made while saying so.  I was pulled out of class and was apologized to about the "confusion" and I was instantly dubbed a "beginner."  Again, no one asked me questions, no one asked about my skill level, no one asked me anything.  I was just labeled a beginner and thrown into a different classroom.  Within about 17 seconds I knew that I was in the wrong class again.  They were learning how to say their names and how to ask someone else their name.  And I was like, "Oh, hell nah."  During the break, I went and talked to the director again and was told there was nothing in between intermediate and beginner.  So, I either learn nothing in beginner, or understand nothing in intermediate.  Awesome.  

Needless to say, I was a whacked out ball of stress on my first day and was ready to book my flight home.  I went back to beginner after the break and we (they) learned how to count past 15, and how to say where they're from.  I wanted to die.

Side note:  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being a total beginner, I was in their exact place a year and a half ago...I knew nothing.  But I didn't study and practice and embarrass myself every single day since then to start from the bottom again.  I knew I didn't belong in beginner, and I didn't think it was fair (for me or the other intermediate student) to be put in intermediate.  I think I would have done fine in intermediate under normal circumstances, it's where I expected to be placed, but I didn't want to be only one of two students in the class and feel like I was a month behind the whole time.

So, Monday sucked and I spent the whole evening in my room fretting over the fact there was no place for me and thinking I had made a mistake in coming here.  There might have even been some tears, but you can't prove it.  I kicked myself for already booking a plane ticket for the end of the month, because I thought I might not even last a week.  I continued to stress about where I was going to be put the following day, and didn't sleep at all thanks to my bed of bricks.  

~ Tuesday ~

Tuesday morning, the director decided that I would work one-on-one with a teacher (I think he's more like a teacher-in-training...he's really young.)  We started about two-thirds of the way through the beginner workbook and he quizzed me on a lot of beginner material... days of the week, months of the year, pronunciation, the definition of lots of verbs, blah, blah, blah.  I spent the first two hours of class working with him, and it was pretty boring, but better than nothing...and then they sent me to the beginner class in the afternoons for the "conversation" and "vocabulary" segments of the day where we (they) learned the words for different types of shoes and clothing.   

After school, I ventured into town to get some groceries.  I went to the amazeballs fruit and veggie market and bought 4 large carrots, 4 large apples, 4 zucchinis, and 1 large onion for 88 pesos (less than 5 bucks.)  And then I went to a small corner store and bought a big bag of coffee, a jar of mayo, water and butter for 133 pesos (about $7.50) and then headed back to school to do my homework.  

So, Tuesday was better than Monday, but I was still pretty bummed about there not being a class for my skill level... I guess I kinda thought it would be more of a Spanish 1-4 or 5 situation (and that I would be a 2 or 3) and not just strictly beginner, intermediate and advanced...but I tried to tell myself that being (bored) with a private tutor is better than relearning ser, estar y gustar with a bunch of super confused newbies.  

~ Wednesday ~

Wednesday wasn't much different than Tuesday.... It rained all day, but not like the typical Mexican rain I'm used to.  It doesn't downpour here like in Vallarta, it's more like Seattle rain... just a gray, drizzly, constant, soggy, wet rain.  I walked into town again to go to the bank and I was thankful I had thought to pack an umbrella, but I realized I should have packed more warm clothes and better shoes.  The one pair of closed-toe shoes I had packed, were soaked through by the time I got back to the house and I was freezing.  

While I was out, I was approached by a kid in his early 20s carrying a basket of bread.  In perfect English he said, "Hello.  Good afternoon."  And it kinda threw me for a loop... He asked if I speak Spanish and I answered, "Estoy aprendiendo," then he asked me if I wanted to practice with him.  I knew he just wanted to sell me bread, but I was happy to play along.  So he asked me where I'm from and why I was in San Miguel and I explained I'm going to school and I'm here for a month, etc.  He asked if I wanted to buy a loaf of homemade banana bread for 70 pesos (umm, yes, please!!) and before he left he said very matter-of-factly in English, "Your Spanish accent is very good," and then he was gone.  I, of course, had a big, nerdy grin all the way home and then I called Ty and bragged about my "very good accent," because duh.  

Also on Wednesday night, I took my first hot shower!  The water in my bathroom had been cold since I arrived on Sunday, (and I don't mean lukewarm like "cold" water is in Vallarta...I'm talking melted snow caps COLD) and I just assumed they didn't have hot water.... But after sending an email to the director, I found out they had just forgotten to turn my water heater on.  Hallelujah!   

As much as I wished I had packed better for this trip, I really love getting to wear hoodies and snuggle up in blankets every day... Ty is probably sitting shirtless under the ceiling fan and melting his face off as I type this.  Sucker.  

~ Thursday ~

Again, Thursday wasn't much different, except my tutor and I actually started getting into more challenging exercises in the workbook and we were having more impromptu conversations, which is good practice for me... In the afternoon class, we (they) learned the words for different fruits and vegetables. 

This also happened Thursday afternoon... Oops.  

Thursday night I decided to find a restaurant for dinner.  I found this casual, hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Olé Olé a 5-minute walk from school and it was AHHHMAZING.  One thing I've loved about San Miguel so far is the fooooooooood.  Everything tastes so fresh and flavorful and like it came from the Earth and not a corporation.  It's what I imagine food tasted like 100 years ago before hormones and preservatives and blah, blah.  I've never been a big meat-eater, and it's hard to find decent steak in the Bay, but the beef here is ridiculous... Like, even eating it as reheated leftovers the next day, it was still the best steak I've ever had in my life.  Mmmmm. 

~ Friday ~

Friday was an all around good day.  My tutor and I finished the rest of the beginner book, which means we move on to the intermediate book on Monday, and after talking to the director again, I'm also going to ditch the beginner class in the afternoons, and join the big kids in the intermediate "conversation" and "vocabulary" segments of the day.  So, go me.  (I found out there was a second intermediate class with more people in it, so why I was put in a class with a person who's been here a month already, is beyond me.)  Aside from a couple random words here and there, I didn't learn a whole lot of new stuff in my first week...so I'm hoping things ramp up from here, otherwise this could end up feeling like a waste of time and money.  

Friday after classes were over at 1:00pm, there was an optional cooking class students could attend, and there ended up being about a dozen of us... Some students were more helpful than others in the actual cooking process, but there was also a lot of socializing and getting to know each other.  Amazingly, out of 15+ students attending the school right now, I'm the only one who actually lives in Mexico full-time and everyone is shocked when I say, "Soy de Seattle, pero vivo en Puerto Vallarta."  I find that so odd... I thought for sure I would be in the majority.  Most of the students either plan to retire in Mexico eventually, or they just want to learn Spanish because of where they live or work.  I got asked a lot of questions about being an expat and how we came to live here.  While others were helping with the cooking, I helped a couple of the Spanish newbies in my beginner class understand their weekend homework.  (Honestly, I'd feel totally confident and competent teaching a beginner class to other expats, I should NOT be attending one!  Ugh.) 

The director led the cooking class and she made Aztec Soup (basically like tortilla soup) and it was super tasty.... We all sat at a big dining table like it was Thanksgiving and as soon as she told us we can only speak in Spanish at the table, conversation was pretty basic after that.  Ha.  

Also on Friday night, the only other student living in the "dorms" with me moved out!  So, I currently have a sprawling, 3-story house all to myself.  And as I mentioned on Facebook a few days ago, she wasn't exactly "friendly."  I practically had to force an introduction on her, and she just seems to be annoyed by all human interaction in general.  (I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that she's single.)  I've always considered myself anti-social/shy around new people, but she makes me look like Miss Congeniality, so I wasn't too heartbroken when I saw her lugging her suitcases downstairs.  I thought for sure I'd be Spanish school besties with whomever I was living with and had hoped to have someone to pal around with on the weekends, but I'm just fine living on my own too.  

Friday night, I walked into town to run some errands, and I noticed some sort of huge, official, government rally-type thing going on in the plaza.  I've never seen so many heavily-armed policía and seguridad privada in one place before.  Yikes.  Hundreds and hundreds of locals showed up for it.   

I wanted to sit and listen to the politicians' speeches, because they were speaking loudly and clearly and I thought it would be good listening/comprehension practice for me, so I popped into a bar next to the plaza that had a good view of the stage.  They didn't want to give me a table unless I ordered a meal, so I ordered something cheap and ate less than half of it because I wasn't all that hungry.  After listening for about 40 minutes or so (and understanding quite a lot!), I got the rest of my food para llevar (to go) and asked for a tenedor de plástico (plastic fork) to go with it.  On my way back to school I crouched down next to a homeless woman who couldn't have been less than 80 years old and asked, "Tienes hambre?" (Are you hungry?)  Her eyes got wide and she nodded up and down and said, "Sí, sí, sí!!"  I gave her my leftovers and a few 10 peso coins, and told her to have a good day and she smiled and thanked me repeatedly as I walked away.  There are far too many homeless, starving, begging senior citizens on the streets of San Miguel, something we don't see in La Cruz, so I'll be making a point to keep spare change in my pockets while I'm here. 

**************

So, it's officially the weekend!  I survived my first week of being away from my nerdy little family and living on my own... I really, really miss (annoying) them and I miss Ty spoiling me with home-cooked meals every night, but I do NOT miss the humidity, the thunderstorms or the mosquitoes.  I'm sure Ty super duper misses me and is bored out of his mind and falls asleep every night while clutching my pillow.  He's definitely NOT enjoying my absence by playing lots of golf and binge-watching "Narcos" on Netflix.  No, siree! 

Anyway... This was a long, boring post...congrats if you made it to the end.  I'm off to the market.  Hasta pronto!