The Downside

As usual, I try to "keep it real" on this little blabber blog... I'm the first to admit that I thought my new Mexican life would be all sunshine and rainbows.  (Well, that's probably not a good analogy....) I thought it would be filled with exotic, non-stop adventures and life-bettering experiences.  I thought I would finally get around to becoming the person I thought for sure I would be "if I had more time."  I'm not stupid, I knew it was going to be challenging and I was super nervous about making such a drastic life change...but I also naively thought that there would be more easy than hard.  I'm not saying I don't like living in Mexico, I do.  But for everything I like about it, there's also something I don't like about it. 

I'll write a post entitled "The Upside" eventually about the affordable healthcare, about never having to set an alarm clock, about how dirt cheap food is... but I'm sure it's much more interesting (a.k.a entertaining) for you to read the not-so-hot facts about living in a semi-tropical climate.  Not counting the obvious things like the soul-sucking summer humidity and 4-5 months of being riddled with mosquito bites.... Here's my list of things I don't like about living in Mexico:

• All the stray dogs.  I pretty much wanna wrangle up all the homeless pups and turn our house into a dog sanctuary and become a crazy dog mom.  (Because have you met me?)
• Speaking of stray pets... Roadkill here is almost always in the form of a dog or cat.  Just yesterday driving home from Nuevo, I saw an absolutely destroyed cat in the road and then a few miles later the same had happened to a dog.  Had Ty been driving I woulda shrieked and covered my eyes. And no one ever cleans them up.  They just stay there until they are a complete, tire-tracked pancake.  Ugh.
• Also on the subject of roadkill... I don't like how easy it is to accidentally kill a living creature.  I have to carefully and slowly drive down our street so as not to run over any small lizards.  (And by "small" I mean like, 10+ inches long.) I'm constantly stopping the car and willing them to safely run off into the bushes instead of under my car.  I even stopped for a crab once and urged him across the road with a stick.  Ty thinks I'm nuts and rolls his eyes at me swerving down our street...but sorry, not sorry.  
• "Birds in the kitchen" was on my mental draft of this post and just now I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and there were FOUR BIRDS FLYING AROUND.  Four!  I, of course, remained totally calm and didn't freak out at all.  Because I'm an adult.  (Right?)  This is a downside to living in Mexico, because you wanna keep your doors open for airflow, but that also means you're going to get a few unwanted winged visitors.  We usually get about a bird a week in the kitchen (they like to steal dog food, of all things) and just yesterday one came into our bedroom and I had to stop Luna from turning him into lunch.   Oh, and then there are the 3 bats we've had flying around our room, of course.  Good times.  

• Speaking of bats... I don't mind them being around because they eat bugs, but I'm sick of bat poop.  I know which eaves they like to sleep under because there are the same piles of bat droppings to sweep up every morning.
• And I hate all the Gecko poop!  I'm not exaggerating when I say it's EVERYWHERE!  Gecko poop in Mexico is the equivalent to like...dust...back home.  Because no matter how often you clean it, it will ALWAYS come back.  
• Iguana poop.  (Man, there's a lot of fecal matter in this post.  My bad.) Especially when I step in a big, steaming fresh pile of it.  Yeah, that happened.  An iguana broke a branch and fell out of the Huanacaxtle tree and, understandably, it scared the salsa right outta him.  And then I stepped in it while filming him.  Barefoot. (Awesome!)

• I hate all the horses tied to trees!  Why is this a thing even???  Why?  Just why?  We've seen dozens and dozens of horses tied up to trees by a very short rope, so they can't wander, graze or even really move.  I'd understand if someone was just "parking" their horse for a bit...but that's not the case since we've seen horses in the same spots for days.  I assume this is because the owner doesn't have a pen for the horse, but seeing this always depresses the hell outta me.  

• Scorpions.  Just a couple days ago I saw one on the floor like six inches from Bloo's sleeping head.  I have no idea where it came from.  It's like it just appeared in the middle of the floor because it would have had to walk past mine or Ty's bare feet to get where it was.  Um, nope.  After Ty smashed it with a dustpan, he was gonna throw it into the bushes and I said, "Don't do that!  I don't want the dogs to accidentally eat a dead scorpion!!"  And then I thought, "There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say."

Wow, I'm just now noticing that this ENTIRE post has been critter-related so far.  I guess I'm not getting "used to" them as well as I thought I was...

Some non animal-related things I don't like about living here:

• The dairy products just kinda suck.  The cottage cheese is watery and funky-tasting, the majority of even "healthy" yogurts are riddled with sugar, milk goes bad in like two days, the cheese is weird (I miss pepperjack and Tillamook), and the ice cream is heavy on the "icy" and light on the "creamy."  Blech.  
• A lot of food products are hard to find or they're expensive because they're imported.  The big grocery stores have what we refer to as "the gringo aisle" full of organic coffee, gluten-free pasta, Asian condiments and other items that'll cost you an arm and a leg.  Dill pickles have been a staple in my fridge my whole life and I miss them dearly!  
• Thanks to the climate, everything rusts, corrodes, rots, gets faded by the sun, gets eaten by termites (okay, that's kinda critter-related) or goes moldy.  You learn to shop for things like kitchenware and home goods with the least amount of metal on them. If you aren't able to buy something in plastic or wood (like a cheese grater), it's going in the garbage in a year.  I promise.  
• Topes.  (Pronounced toe-pays.)  Topes are big ass speed bumps and the majority of the time they aren't painted, so you only notice them as you're hurdling the car over them going 30 miles per hour.  
• I hate the litter.  I see a lot of locals taking great care of their section of sidewalk... Proudly sweeping and washing and watering in front of their house or tienda every morning, but we also see a lot of garbage everywhere we go.  There's that "one house" on our street whose curbside garbage can is always overflowing...and then dogs and birds get into it and spread it all over and they just leave the whole mess there at all times.  (Despite the fact that the garbage gets picked up 3 times per week!)
• The internet is TERRIBLE.  When we're at the Hotel and there are umpteen guests using the WiFi at the same time, I might as well take a nap because I'm not getting ANY work done.  I have one of those "speed test" apps on my phone that tests Mb-whatevers and I've never seen it go over 5.  I'm no computer genius, but I know that ain't good!  
• This is probably what I dislike the most about living here... I hate feeling ugly all the time.  Even in the winter, I can't really control my hair for more than a few hours before it morphs into a sweaty fuzzball on top of my head.  I would guess that 94% of the days we've spent here, my hair has been in a sloppy bun or ponytail.  Makeup is pointless and I only put it on if I'm sitting directly in front of the A/C vents in the car in the middle of winter.  I'm also currently in the worst shape of my LIFE because exercising in this heat is just about the LAST thing I feel like doing.  So, I'm a chubby, sweaty, frizzy and make-up less person in Mexico.  No me gusta.  
• The furniture is uncomfortable.  Handmade, wooden, Mexican furniture may be pretty to look at, but just hope you don't have to sit on it.  Furniture-makers must think there's a serious posture problem in this country because sitting on one of these bad boys will make you sit up like a sinner in church.  And don't get me started on the granite counter tops they call "mattresses" here.  Hard pass.  (Haha, get it?) 

• This one is going to sound crazy, but I don't really like having a housekeeper as much as I thought I would.  Last summer, our place was being cleaned 3 times per week and it felt more intrusive than helpful... Yes, it's nice to have a perfectly clean house, but I also felt like I couldn't be fully relaxed in my own "home."  Not only does it feel like there's always someone around, but I also constantly felt like I had to pick up after myself immediately... because if I left my sandy shoes in the living room, or Spanish homework strewn about the counter, or dirty laundry on the bathroom floor, that would mean the maid would be picking up after me like a child.  And sometimes you just wanna leave a mess for "later!"  
• I hate how hard it is to find things here and how you usually have to hire someone to have something made... I had no idea how spoiled we were consumer-wise in the States.  Need affordable curtains?  Just run down to Fred Meyer where you'll find 100 different styles in all shapes and sizes!  Here?  I looked at curtains at WalMart and they had 5 panels of curtains.  Not five styles...five panels total for sale.  And none of them matched.  This will be one of those situations where I have to buy the fabric from a fabric store, ask for recommendations for a seamstress, try to contact said seamstress, explain to her what I want (in bad Spanish) and pay her to make them for me.  

Alright, I think I've met my quota for complaining for today.

Well, Ty just suggested we take the pups to the hot springs for the afternoon, so I'm outta here!  Hasta luego!