Mexican Life Hacks

There are lots of super-helpful expat blogs out there in Cyberland meant to assist Northerners looking to move south of the border full of detailed information on how to navigate through this or that......this, however, is not one of those blogs.  

Yes, we spent months preparing for this move and made several trips to the Mexican Embassy in Seattle to obtain our visas, had to figure out all of the logistics involved in driving the 2,800 miles from Seattle to La Cruz, etc. but all of that is much too boring for yours truly to write about... And in all honesty, I had very little to do with all of the important adulting that was needed for this major move.  Ty handled business like a boss, as per usual, and I flitted around in la-la land buying flip flops and sunglasses.  Because, duh.  Adulting is the worst. 

Anyway.... We've been in La Cruz for almost 5 months now and we've learned some "Mexican life hacks" since being here.  So, here are some little tips and tricks we learned the hard way... This is probably the most "helpful" this blog (or me in general) will ever be.  So, enjoy.

• When you're eating at a taco stand or outside somewhere (which is nearly every meal when you live in Mexico) and flies are an issue, try to keep a dirty dish at the end of your table.  It'll keep the flies from hovering around your food.  Yes, it's gross to look over and see a plate full of flies... But better them hanging out at the end of the table than on my tacos!  

• If you plan to take lots of long drives or day trips to explore other towns and villages (like we do) then make sure to keep spare napkins or toilet paper in your car in case you need to take a bathroom break.  We often stop at the Pemex gas station bathrooms (you don't have to ask for a key and they're usually pretty clean) but they rarely have toilet paper stocked in them!  It's also smart to keep spare change in your car because "public" bathrooms (especially at the beach or popular shopping areas) charge 5-10 pesos for you to use them.  You'll hand your change to an elderly lady or a kid and they'll hand you a few squares of toilet paper in return.  Good luck! 

• If you decide to drive to Mexico with your belongings, make it a priority to bring high-quality kitchen stuff with you, because cheap stuff will rust within a week of being here.  All of our cheap stainless steel things (dog bowls, cheese graters, bottle openers, etc.) are riddled with rust spots thanks to the humidity and the calcium-rich water, I'm guessing.  And, thankfully, all of our Calphalon pans and expensive knives are unscathed.  We've been told that the quality of stainless steel isn't the same as the US and good stuff is hard to find and/or it's more expensive here than in the states. 

• If you're already living in Mexico, then you know that a glass of ice water doesn't stay a glass of ice water for more than 5 minutes.  Instead, it morphs into a room-temperature let down sitting in a puddle of its own condensation.  Next time you're in the states (or you have someone coming to visit), pick yourself up one of these bad boys!  I bought Ty this Asobu vacuum-insulated water bottle for $20+ at Fred Meyer before we left and it was worth every penny.  We can literally put cold ice water in it in the morning and it's still freeeeeeeeeezing cold 12 hours later.  Like, brain freeze cold.  Like, even if it's left in the blazing sun and the outside of it is hot to the touch.  Which is amazingly satisfying when it's a billion degrees outside everyday and you're painting houses and trimming hedges and sweating your friggen face off.  We never leave the house without it... 

• Another thing I bought before we left is this little weird-looking gadget.  I was skeptical about how well it would work when I bought it, but it was only like 7 bucks so I wanted to try it out.  And turns out, it's AWESOME.  It takes less than a minute to have perfectly peeled, cored and sliced pineapple rings with no waste.  And you could use the hollowed-out pineapple husk as a margarita glass if you were feeling festive.  We eat 1-2 pineapples per week, so this has been a great buy.  But beware, you and your spouse will argue over who gets to drink all of the pineapple juice left in the husk... 

• Another kitchen gadget... Ty bought this strainer when we got here to strain pasta or whatever and we have yet to use it for cooking... Instead I use it to catch GIANT moths when they get trapped in our kitchen window and can't figure out how to get out.  Picture me remaining totally calm and definitely not shrieking while trying to coax a big, fluttering cockroach with wings into the strainer and out the door while tripping over two dogs who are trying to eat said cockroach with wings.  Fun times. 

• Be careful when moving/handling rocks or bricks (or anything heavy or durable) that hasn't been disturbed in a long time... We haven't seen any scorpions yet, but we're told that's where they like to hang out.  And our maid's son got stung at school a few months ago while he was outside playing... 

• While we're on the subject of creepy crawlers... If you're planning on moving south of the border, do yourself a major favor and grab some Ortho Home Defense perimeter spray from WalMart or Home Depot when you get here.  You can read about my horrifying "nope" experiences here... And then you can thank me later! After we sprayed around our doors and windows (and down all of our drains, because that's how cockroaches get in -- gag) we rarely ever have wingless bug sightings indoors anymore.  Thank goodness, because I can't even.  

• This bullet point is Ty's contribution to this post... He golfed with a guy last week who told him, "If you lose your ball in the rough...do NOT go looking for it."  Apparently he's lived here a long time and has seen several very large snakes and crocodiles on the local course.  No thank you!  Just the other day Ty texted me, "I just saw a 12 foot crocodile" while golfing.  He, of course, only took a picture of his thumb covering the camera.

• Mosquitoes are a disgusting, miserable nuisance where we live and I spent July to September covered in no less than 20 itchy, painful, gnarly bites every single day... We tried every bug spray and cream and candle and fumigation spray and magic potion out there and nothing worked.  Until we found these!  They are basically like a coiled incense that you light and let smolder for hours.  We light them when we're sitting on the patio and it's the ONLY thing that kept us from constantly smacking at our legs under the table and cursing under our breath.  And I like that we don't have to slather our skin with chemicals.  (Although, who knows what we're inhaling.)  And bonus, a pack of 10 coils costs 14 pesos... Which is like 70 cents.  So, yes... We'll be stocking these in the house from now on.  I only wish we found them months ago!

• A simple trick... Take a cold shower before bed because it'll lower your body temperature and make sleeping more comfortable.  Even better if you dry off via floor or ceiling fan.  We didn't use our air conditioner all summer (even though it was miserable) in an effort to acclimate.  We don't want our comfort to be dependent on expensive electricity.  (Fun fact: when I traveled to Florida a couple weeks ago for my grandpa's funeral I was FREEZING cold the entire time.  Like, jaw-chattering cold.  Having not been in temps below 80 degrees for months, I was literally shivering through every airport, flight, car and building in the states.  Of course I didn't think to bring a jacket to somewhere even hotter and muggier than La Cruz!  No lie... The first thing I did when I got to my hotel room was turn off the A/C and get under the covers.  So, I guess you can say I've acclimated!) 

• A money trick... I still have to whip out my phone to calculate how much something costs in dollars when we're at the store, or I just blankly stare at a sign and ask Ty how much $1220 pesos is while trying to encourage my brain to shift gears from vacation mode to competent adult mode (same with the metric system, but that's another problem...) and after getting thoroughly annoyed with my constant questions, he said, "Just divide it in half, drop a zero, and add a little bit."  Sounds scientific, right?
• $1220 / 2 = $610
• Drop a zero = $61
• Add a "little bit" = $63
• Actual amount in US dollars = $62.56
• Mind blown

Some tricks we've learned to help us pick up conversational Spanish quicker is to:

• befriend lots of Mexicans and hang out with them all the time (because, duh, they're the funnest and they're actually eager to help you learn Spanish)

• always (attempt to) order in Spanish at restaurants, regardless of whether or not the staff speaks English!  
• watch Netflix movies with Spanish subtitles and/or watch your favorite movies in Spanish
• label household items around your house with stickers or post-it notes
• listen to popular Latin singers like Enrique Iglesias and listen to both the English and Spanish versions of their songs (it especially helps when you sing along really loudly and embarrass yourself in public, or at least that's what I'm telling myself.)
• take Spanish classes with fellow gringos!  We recently contacted a couple of local Spanish teachers in the La Cruz/Bucerias area and we're hoping to start next month!  You can read about classes here. 

Some TV tricks...

• It took us a few months, but we finally found a free VPN (hola.org) that actually works really well, so now we can watch all of our favorite TV shows on Hulu!!  And even listen to Pandora!  It's also nice when you want to browse an online shopping site or do a Google search and not have it default to Spanish... You'll have a little icon in the upper right hand corner of your screen and you can select which country you want to "view from."  It's. The. Best. 

• We were also told about a sorta sneaky site to watch football games, which is a must for two Seahawk fans!!  Not sure how legit this site is, but we've been able to watch all of our games from the comfort of our patio since the season started... Yes, you gotta shut down some pop-ups in the beginning and it's not HD quality, but when we pair up our laptop with our bluetooth speaker and kick our feet up on a sunny Sunday afternoon... Esta bien!! 

• Ty also watches a lot of ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX shows for free through www.ustvnow.com  (He mostly watches golf tournaments and 60-Minutes because he's 39 going on 69.)  You don't need a VPN to use this site, but you do have to create a free account.  According to their website they are "TV for US Military and Americans Abroad."  Very cool. 
• While we're on the subject of technology... If you see a big storm coming, do not hesitate to unplug your modem!  (Same with TVs and other electronics, actually.)  As I've mentioned several times in this blog, we've had about 5-6 modems/wireless routers get zapped by lightning since July.  We would lose internet for a day or two if Telmex wasn't open to give us a new one, forcing us to live like Amish people and actually talk to each other.  It was terrible. 

Well, that's about as "helpful" as I feel like being today... Yesterday we felt like going on an adventure so we went in search of some super cool hot springs about an hour and a half from here deep in the jungle... They are ahhhhmazing and we cannot wait to take our friends and family there when they come visit.  I've already started writing a blog post about it!  Stay tuned!  

GO HAWKS!!!