Homeless, Kinda

I haven't posted any new blog entries in the last several months because high-season was a whirlwind of long days of laundry-washing, towel-folding and guest-greeting, but I feel like I'm way overdue on giving all (eight) of my loyal followers an update on what's new with us... 

Side note:  I know I often joke that no one reads my blabbering, but I recently reached over 20,000 page views!  I don't know who you all are, but Ty probably appreciates that he's not the only one who's subjected to my whining.  Haha.  

But first, here is an obligatory pretty photo from dinner the other night.  You're welcome.

Unfortunately, the most newsworthy thing to happen to us since my last post, is that we were notified a few months ago that our lease/management contract at our beloved boutique hotel, Jardin del Mar, isn't going to be renewed for next high-season. 😭  We weren't expecting any issues with it being renewed again in November since business was going so well, and we hoped that we'd be there for a few more years...so we were surprised and saddened by the news to say the least. 

After we found out, I spent two whole days locked in our room refusing to see or speak to any guests or the staff because I wasn't able to wipe the look of total heartbreak off my face or keep myself from ugly-crying every 15 minutes; and surely, our housekeeper would offer me a comforting "mom hug" which would only lead to sobbing in public.  Um, pass.  I could be wrong, but I doubt vacationers want to see their Hostess sporting snot bubbles and swollen eyeballs.  So, kudos to my Swedish Security Blanket for running interference (and attempting to speak Spanish) for me for a few days.  (Thanks, babe.)

Long story short, our contract was terminated because our services were no longer needed.  (Sorry if you were hoping for some juicier gossip!!  #clickbait)

When the owner hired us in November 2016 to get the Hotel back up and running again, the place had been sitting empty for 2 years and no one in the family was willing/able to take it on at that time.  But the owner's son and son-in-law made the decision to relocate to Nayarit this summer and take a dive into the hospitality business.  So, they're taking over as the Managers and Hosts of Jardin and living onsite like we were.  We're both very bummed and disappointed, but we're glad Jardin is staying open and that it'll be in good hands... It's a very special place and we're grateful we got to live and work there for 18 months.  

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We finished up the rest of our busy season and moved out near the end of June the same day our last group of guests checked-out.  Despite how hard we worked for the last year and a half, the most depressing part wasn't leaving the Hotel -- it was leaving yet another home and starting over somewhere new.  Again. 

In the 6 years Ty and I have been together, we've struggled at the whole "planting roots" thing, but not for a lack of trying.  (We bought and remodeled two houses in that time, for crying out loud!)  Ty doesn't mind being nomad-ish, and he's great at "going with the flow," but that's NOT a skill of yours truly.  (I'd probably be much more likeable if it were.)  Call me crazy, but I like knowing where we're going to be living six months or a year from now.  I crave planting (big, deep, oak-tree!) roots somewhere great and living happily ever after with my perfect little family.  But so far, our little oak sapling keeps getting yanked out of the ground as soon as I think it's there to stay a while...

I've moved 13 times in the last 15 years (ugh) and it's becoming an all too familiar cycle of:

Step 1:  Go through a major life change that requires starting over from scratch.  

• like going through a divorce and giving your house to your ex-husband because the market crashed after you built it in 2007 and now it's under water and you have to move into a crappy apartment alone 
• or quitting your stressful job after 7 years with your company and going back to school full-time to pursue a different career 
• or your boyfriend being offered an out-of-state job the very same day you throw a house-warming party for the house you just bought and fixed up together, and now you have to decide whether you want to continue with school or go with him
• or your fiancé having an early mid-life crisis (thanks to that same out-of-state job) and he wants to sell everything you own and move out of the country even though you just spent an entire back-breaking year remodeling your latest house and you finally feel at home in your new city that you didn't want to move to in the first place...
• or selling your dream home and leaving a successful career and everything you know and love behind to support your husband and his vision of having a simpler, more meaningful life South of the border 

(You know, just super common stuff that every person goes through before the age of 30!)  

Step 2:  Take several months to grieve the loss of your "old life/home" and to adapt to a new, unfamiliar place where you don't have any friends or family.

And by "adapt" I mean act like a stubborn, homesick crybaby for the better part of a year and make your husband wish he left your grumpy butt in Portland/Seattle/The U.S./wherever to needlepoint cheesy oak tree metaphors onto throw pillows.  (Step 2 hasn't exactly been in my wheelhouse.  Sorry, babe.) 

Step 3:  Come to realize that you finally feel happy again and comfortable and settled into your new home/city/job/country/life/whatever!  

• "Let's celebrate!!  That was a sucky year, and I never thought I would get over leaving our last home, but we worked hard and survived it and I love our new home now!"  -- 2015 Alissa 

• "Maybe I shouldn't get too comfortable here because I might jinx it and I'm afraid we'll have to move again as soon as I let myself feel happy somewhere."   -- 2018 Alissa     

Step 4:  Watch everything come tumbling down when yet another curve ball blindsides you and sends you back to Step One. 

Rinse and repeat Steps 1-4 every 18-24 months until you die, apparently.

(Just to clarify... I'm not blaming Ty for how much we've moved, or hold it against him.  We make our decisions together and I'd follow him Timbuktu if it made him happy, but it doesn't make starting over somewhere new any easier for me.) 

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We were super busy at Jardin right up until the day we left, so we didn't have a lot of time (or motivation) to go house or job-hunting after we found out we had to move again.  We had considered signing a one-year lease on a rental house in Bucerias, but we panicked and backed out at the last minute.  What if another hotel job comes up and we need to live onsite again and we're stuck in a lease?  What if we don't find another job here and we end up moving back to Portland?  Do we even want to stay in Nayarit?  What about moving inland where it's cooler?  What do we do now?  What do we even want to do now?  (We're in a bit of a rut at the moment, in case it wasn't obvious by this long, self-pitying post.)

For the summer, we rented a house on the golf course Ty is a member of (which, to him, is the equivalent of a toddler moving to Disneyland.)  The owner goes home to Canada during the humid, rainy months and offered to rent it to us until he gets back in October.  It was a very last-minute/quick-fix decision and I'm glad we only have two more months here... The house is "fine," or whatever, but I'm sick of living among someone else's clothes and clutter and crap.  (What most people don't realize, is that we've literally been living in someone's else house for the past 26 months, and that means living with their "stuff" too.  I hate it!)  Plus, Bloo is bored to tears without a yard to roam in or his bestie, Luna, to wrestle with... 

(Yes, we had to leave Luna when we left Jardin.  We miss her so much.  I can't even. 😭)

At the end of September, we're moving (again!) into a small, semi-furnished rental house in La Cruz, but I'm not very excited about that either.  It's dingy and plain and the furniture is ugly and uncomfortable.  But it's cheap, available, close to town and they'll allow us to have a 100-pound fluff ball for a roommate.

It's going to take a lot of elbow grease and creativity (and pesos) to make it feel at all homey/less depressing... But again, that'll eventually lead me to the infamous and dangerous Step 3, so maybe I won't even bother!!  (Sheesh, I'm just a delight tonight, aren't I?)  The house is also for sale though, so here's hoping it doesn't get sold right out from under us as soon as we're settled.... 😑

I'm sure Ty wouldn't mind waiting until the last minute to see if something better comes along, but I want, "find a place to live" scratched off my mental to-do list so I don't lie awake every night worrying that we're going to end up sleeping in the minivan.  (Ty would probably say that sounds like fun actually...good thing I'm crazy about him!)

Okay, that was far too much complaining for one post.  I'm off to eat a pint of ice cream and recover from all the whining.  Buenas noches!!