Friday, August 23, 2019

Sooooo, we did a thing...

Well, the keys have been in hand for a while, so I guess it's time to make it official and tell you all what we've been up to the last few months.... 

WE'RE BUILDING A HOUSE IN LA CRUZ!!!  

That's right... We're not going anywhere anytime soon, because we are now the proud owners of this ready-to-build chunk of dirt.  (These are just the perimeter/exterior walls...it's empty inside.)




Some backstory:

We've had a casual eye on the housing market since we moved to La Cruz three years ago, but never really saw anything the two of us could agree on.  Ty would often get goo goo eyes for acres of raw jungle land in the hills (only accessible by 4-wheelers, of course) imagining a sprawling, eco-friendly, self-sustainable, Mexican "ranch"... And then I would kindly remind him that there was no access road, no public water, no internet or electricity service...and that we'd blow our budget on just getting it ready to build and have no money left to build a house.  

I'd also remind him that he's about the least handy man on the planet (he's a self-proclaimed "idea guy," not a do-it-yourself guy) and that building and maintaining a "ranch" would be a ton of work - none of which he'd actually want to do.  Twice in six years, he's insisted we buy the worst house on the block and then says, "Okay, now fix it!"  And then I'd spend 6-12 months remodeling said fixer-upper while he "supervised."  

Our Portland house... 





Super tired and pouty!


Our Auburn house... Here we go again! 




Conquering a rotted shed... Haha.  







You get the point.... Needless to say, I put my foot down this time.  I told him that buying a fixer-upper was one thing, but if I have to buy a machete to ward against jungle snakes - then we ain't buying it.  

We chose to move to La Cruz for a reason... We fell head over heels in love with the little fishing village when we first vacationed here in 2013.  That trip was also the first time Ty said, "I could live here one day."  Little did we know at the time that "one day" would arrive much sooner than anticipated!  So, I didn't want to settle on buying something on the outskirts of town (a.k.a. the jungle!) or in a neighboring pueblo when it's La Cruz that feels like home to us and it was our inspiration to live abroad in the first place.  We've looked at properties in Bucerias, Higera Blanca, etc., and it always came back to, "It's a nice house, but do we really want to live anywhere other than La Cruz?"  The answer was always a resounding, "NO."  So... We kept looking at properties from time-to-time until we pretty much had all of the listings in La Cruz memorized.  

We got more serious about buying property this year, after trying to decide whether or not to renew our yearly lease on our current (super bland) rental house which is up next month... Fast forward through a bunch of uninteresting negotiating, document-gathering, wire-transferring and legal property-buying mumbo jumbo and lo' and behold... We're property owners again!  (If you're interested in learning about the actual process of buying property in Mexico...scroll up to the top of the page for a reminder that I'm not in the business of being helpful, because that's much too boooring for yours truly to scribble about.) 

So, there you have it... We're building a house!  After 3 years of living in other people's houses filled with their personal belongings, we'll get to finally create a home of our own again...and we couldn't be more excited!  

I'll be documenting the building progress only somewhat on this blog... I have a million do-it-yourself projects and design ideas rattling inside my head that I'm sure I'll want to write about, and I'm guessing no one wants to read about me learning how to tie macrame plant holders or what color I'm going to paint the bathroom, so I'll spare you the details.  (You're welcome.)  BUT, if you are someone who's interested in all things DIY and interior design... I'll be reviving my old home-remodeling blog here >>>  Martha Stewart...in Black  (For an explanation of the blog name, scroll back to the very first post.  Haha.

Okay, now back to Pinterest-ing!  


Saturday, July 27, 2019

Oh, the Irony (and Blasphemy)

The idea for this post came to me after the 87th time I made a mock-puking face at Ty for suggesting tacos for dinner YET AGAIN.  He threw a man-boy tantrum and whined, "You're the only person in Mexico who doesn't like tacos!"  Well, he's not wrong there... 

I've never in my life been a "picky eater."  Even as a little kid, I scarfed down a lot of foods kids (and even a lot of adults) typically claim to hate... broccoli, brussel sprouts, lima beans, boiled cabbage, canned spinach....liver and onions!  I've never met a vegetable I didn't like (well, except for beets, gross), or a dish I wouldn't at least try.  I've always claimed to "eat everything," and I'm sure it's because we had limited exposure to processed food growing up and we were expected to eat what was in front of us.  (Thanks, mom!)

But now...for the first time in my life, I actually have a list of foods I don't like; and it's mainly because of the overwhelming abundance and repetition of certain ingredients and dishes in my new hometown.... Basically, I miss when Mexican ingredients were on the rotation of all the different cuisines we ate, instead of it being what we eat more often than not.  To summarize:  Three years in and I'M SO SICK OF TACOS!!!  

Aside from my new food aversions being ironic given that we live in a taco-abundant country, there are also many facts about living in Mexico that are probably pretty hard for some people back home to wrap their heads around.  I mean... I bought sunless tanning lotion before a trip back to Portland last summer, in an attempt to give my pasty skin a bit of color so I wouldn't have to hear, "How are you so white?!?!" from my friends and family.  Ironic, right? 

Read on for more unexpected ironic-isms and blasphemes.... 

  • IRONY #1 - Like I said, I don't like tacos (anymore.)
Locals (and Ty) will eat some form of tortilla with meat and different salsas on it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And I'm not trying to stereotype here... It's the truth.  If we have to drive into La Cruz before 8-9am, every mom and pop taco stand along the highway is jam-packed with men sitting down to their "breakfast tacos" (that's mine and Ty's name for them, Mexicans just call them...well, breakfast) on their way to work. 

I used to squeal with excitement on "Taco Tuesday" just like any other basic white girl, but that was before they were offered on every local menu.  (And then Ty constantly wanting to make them at home too.  Blech.)  Don't get me wrong, I'll choke down a taco now and then for the sake of other peoples' restaurant preferences... (Hello to all my Tacos on the Street Fanatics!!)  But it hasn't been my first choice (or second or third or fourth...) since probably our first year here.  Fried shrimp tacos, fish tacos, carne asada, birria (slow-cooked goat), shredded chicken, smoked marlin, pastor (pork slow-cooked on a spit with pineapple.)  You name it, I'm over it.  

My new dislike of tacos probably also has something to do with missing "tacos" as I knew them before... Hard shell tacos used to be my favorite kind, and they are NOT a thing in our area.  You won't find a box of perfectly-made Ortega hard shells at the grocery store, so you can just go home and make them like your mom used to when you were a kid complete with yellow cheddar and sour cream...

On a related note...  You know that pre-made taco seasoning you buy in packets to mix in with your ground beef?  You can't buy that here either.  Many of our local Canadian and American friends ask people to stash it in their suitcases when they come to visit.  This is extra hilarious, because when we moved and I was emptying out our spice cabinet, I gave a Costco-sized container of taco seasoning away, thinking, "Of course, it'll be really easy to get this in Mexico!"  Hahaha.  Silly girl.

  • IRONY #2 - I miss Taco Bell.
I admit it!  I realize this one is extra ironic considering #1, but it's true.  I know it's super blasphemous considering all I have to do to find fresh, authentic Mexican food is walk out my front door; and that Taco Bell is "Mexican food" as much as Dominos Pizza is "Italian," but if I told you that I didn't make a beeline for a Crunch Wrap Supreme every time I touch down in the States, I'd be lying to you.  (I just Googled "Taco Bell near me" and the nearest one is in McAllen, Texas.  I'm sure Mexican abuelitas everywhere would be rolling in their graves if a Taco Bell chain popped up in their little pueblo, so I won't hold my breath.) 

I also just miss fast food in general... It was never something I ate regularly since we cook most of our meals at home, but sometimes a girl just wants the convenience of hustling through a drive-thru for a Wendy's chicken sandwich while out and about.  (The nearest drive-thru is a Carl's Jr. 3 towns away.) 

  • IRONY #3 - Avocado is so cheap and abundant, that I'm absolutely sick of it. 
Same goes for guacamole.  I'll only eat it to be polite at this point.  (Don't hate me.) 

When we first moved here, Ty was in absolute amazement at the low price of groceries that he would buy heaps of mangoes and other produce that used to cost us a small fortune and was considered a "special treat."  (You can read more about the cost of groceries on my post entitled "Reverse Sticker Shock.")

I just checked a recent receipt, and we paid about 60 cents per avocado.  I remember when avocados would go "on sale" for 2 for $5.00 in the States and I was all like, "What a steal!!"  So... Our first year here, Ty felt the need to put avocado on evvveeeeerrrryyything because it was so cheap.  And I mean everything.  Eggs?  Top it with avocado.  Sandwich?  Make an avocado spread.  Spaghetti?  Why not.  It's to the point now where I don't even care for avocado on things I used to love it with... Chili, salads, wraps, etc.  Ty, however, is still smothering the green gold on everything.  Hard pass.

  • IRONY #4 - I'm rarely tan.  
As I mentioned above, whenever we have friends visiting or we're planning a trip North, I begrudgingly add, "get a tan," to my to-do list because I don't want grief for being Casper the Friendly Gringo Ghost. 

When you live in a place that averages a high of 85 degrees (30 degrees Celsius) year-round... You actively hide from the sun, you don't go looking for it!  Therefore, I am a pasty white girl 92% of the time and slathering sunscreen on my face and chest multiple times per day has become a part-time job.  Besides it being too frickin hot to be in the sun, I'm also terrified of looking like a sun-damaged leather bag by the time I'm 40 or having to get cancerous sun spots cut out of my face.  So, I'll stay in the shade, thanks.

  • IRONY #5 - It rains more (in inches) in Puerto Vallarta than it does in Seattle. 
Speaking of the weather... My Pacific-Northwesters will appreciate this ironic fact.  When people (who've never lived anywhere near the Pacific Northwest) think of Seattle, they think of three things:  the Space Needle, that cheesy rom-com with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, and LOTS of rain.  But amazingly, Vallarta actually gets about 65 inches per year compared to Seattle's 38 inches despite the fact that Seattle's rainy season is twice as long.  Go figure.

  • IRONY #6 - We never go to the beach (even though it's only a 2-minute walk from our house.) 
Okay, so not "never" but seriously...we've gone once in the last, like, 6 months maybe?  This one is related to #4 and one of the reasons we're never tan.  Even on the rare occasion we do go to the beach, we smother ourselves in SPF 50 and hide under a big umbrella.  Besides wanting to avoid getting a sunburn, I just don't care for the beach... It's nice to look at or to walk on, but I rarely even get my feet wet.  Swimming in the ocean is like taking a bath and coming out dirty, sandy, sticky, salty and gross instead of clean.  (I sound super fun, don't I?)

Walking Bloo on the beach by our house... 


  • IRONY #7 - I prefer to wear long pants even though it's hot as BALLS everyday. 
I get comments by other Gringos every time I'm rocking long leggings or jeans about how hot I must be, but I think they're much more comfortable than shorts or a dress in the heat.  And if you were to look around...you'd notice most Mexicans wear long pants year-round.  And I totally get why.  My legs are protected from the sun, I'm not slapping and itching my ankles when mosquito season rolls around...but most importantly, I don't have sweaty thighs rubbing together like when I wear dresses!  Haha, sexy.  Also, who wants to shave their legs 365 days per year?  Not me.


  • IRONY #8 - Much to my DISMAY, the wrong pronunciation of my name is stuck with me forever 
For those of you who know just how hard I roll my eyes when my name is mispronounced, this one is a super annoying ironic fact for yours truly.  My name is spelled "Alissa" (UH-LISS-UH) and my entire life people have assumed it's pronounced "Aleeeesa" with a long E sound... (I have an entire diatribe about how stupid that is considering if you dropped the A's from my name, you'd be left with "LISS" and not "LEES."  And don't even get me started on why Alyssa spelled with a non-sensical Y is never pronounced UH-LICE-UH!  But I digress.)  

All my life, my name has been mispronounced, mis-remembered and misheard so frequently, that I started assuming that if someone was using any variation of my name, they must be talking to me... So, I've begrudgingly learned to respond to:  Alisha, Aleesia, Melissa, Alisa, etc.  I've even been called "Elizabeth" a few times for crying out loud.  


In Spanish, the vowels are always pronounced the same way.  Unlike English, there are not 3 or 4 ways to say each letter.  (Beginner Spanish learners, write this rule down... es muy importante!
  • A = is always pronounced "AH" (There are zero Spanish words with A's pronounced like "cat" or "apple.") 
  • E = is always pronounced "AY" as in "HAY" (or "EH?" for my Canadian friends!) 
  • I = is always pronounced "EE"  (Now you see where this is going, don't you...) 
  • O = is always pronounced "OH" (Even when you see a Spanish word with double Os, they're still each individually said as "OH" and not together as "OOO."  Microonda is the word for microwave and it's pronounced mee-CROW-OWN-duh...not mee-CROON-duh.  Which is why I think it's cute when Mexicans stress the "book" in "Facebook" because it's an unnatural vowel combination for them and they're trying hard to say it correctly.   
  • U = is always pronounced "OO"  (That's why música is pronounced mooo-si-ka not mew-si-ka, as it's commonly mispronounced by Northerners.)
Yes, there are some pronunciation variations when two vowels are paired together in a word, but you get my point.  Looooooong, story short... When I started speaking Spanish with locals and said, "Me llamo ALISSA" they automatically say it back to me as "ALEESA" because they don't have my version of the letter "I" in their vocabulary...  I'd repeat it correctly, and they'd say it back to me the only way that makes sense to them.  Getting Mexican friends to attempt to pronounce my name correctly is like them trying to get me to roll my Rs - it's simply never going to happen because it's a completely foreign "mouth movement" to both of us.  

It didn't take me too long to accept the irony that the name I grew up hating was now my permanent name (I even introduce myself to Spanish-speakers as "Aleesa" now to save us all a headache), but it is what it is.

  • IRONY #9 - I had never met a Canadian until we came to Mexico.
It's 100% true!  Despite being born near Seattle, Washington, less than 100 miles from the border and spending most of my life in the Pacific Northwest... I had never been to Canada or (knowingly) met a Canadian until we first visited La Cruz in 2013.  No lie.  Now, I'd say about 96% of our friends and acquaintances are Canadian and Ty and I are the American minorities in every get-together. 

This ironic fact has been a really entertaining one, however... We like to tease our Canadian friends about their ever-present beer koozies (cozies?) and their accents they think they don't have (sooory not sooory), and they tease us for saying "4 beers" instead of "4 beer" and not understanding temperatures in Celsius.  

On a related note.... I had never watched a hockey game on TV until we moved here, or even knew there was such a thing as the Canadian Football League or what the Grey Cup is, believe it or not.  (It's the equivalent of the Super Bowl for those of you also scratching your head.)  Their football season happens much earlier than the NFL (I assume because of the winter weather?) so if we go to a sports bar in November hoping to catch a Seahawks game, it's a very different scene than what we're used to, and everyone's wearing jerseys for teams I've never even heard of.  Overall, it's been really shocking to realize how little we're taught about our Neighbors to the North while growing up in the U.S., and that it took moving farther away from Canada to learn anything about it.  What's up with that? 

  • IRONY #10 - I feel safer in Mexico than I did in Seattle.  (Not an exaggeration.) 
I get a good laugh out of U.S. "safety warnings" about traveling to Mexico because I feel waaaaay safer in the Vallarta area than I ever did when we lived south of Seattle.  Back home, I didn't even feel safe enough to walk Bloo around our neighborhood by myself thanks to desperate, homeless meth heads living in the parks and armed gang bangers shooting at each other.  When I went to the grocery store, I would park as close to the entrance as possible, because on more than one occasion I was approached by junkies in the parking lot begging me for money or a ride somewhere...to the point of trying to open my car doors and forcing themselves inside like a bunch of zombies.  

In the brief two months that I worked in downtown Seattle, I saw a homeless woman beaten in public by her "boyfriend" while others just watched it happen; I had to step over used syringes while walking to and from the train station; and I always made sure to leave work before it started getting dark because I didn't feel comfortable walking alone.  

Yes, there is violence in Mexico.  Yes, there are drug cartels.  Yes, there are places you shouldn't travel to... But you can say the same thing about a lot of big cities in the States.  In our area, there isn't anything I feel uncomfortable doing alone...and off the top of my head, I can't recall a single time I've felt unsafe in the last 3 years.

As long as you're using your head and not looking for trouble, you'll be just fine in most parts of Mexico.  Just for laughs... 

  

  • IRONY 11# - Our lives aren't much different than before.  
I know some of our friends and family back home think we are "living the dream," and don't get me wrong... We get to have a lot more fun now than we did when we were grinding away in the States, but our lives aren't much different than they used to be.  

Sure, we get woken up by chirping birds instead of an alarm clock and we have to dodge iguanas in the street while driving sometimes... But, we have to pay bills and rent, we have to get the oil changed, we go to Costco, going to dinner and a movie is still our go-to date night, we binge-watch Netflix, we go to appointments, go to bed early, walk the dog, clean the house, and say, "What should we make for dinner tonight?" just like the rest of the world.  So, no need to be too jealous of our exotic (sweaty) lives South of the Border.  Jaja.  

Well, now that this morning's thunderstorm is dying down, we're off to Vallarta to go to our favorite pizza place and then to see the Lion King (for my birthday!)  Adios!  




Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Things Google Can't Teach You

It's our Mexi-versary!!!  Three years ago today, we arrived in little La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Nayarit after making the 2,800 mile trek from the Pacific Northwest.  It's so surreal to think it's been that long already... It feels like just yesterday that I was going through the Starbucks drive thru at 5:30 every morning on my rainy commute to work, and Ty's stressful job was prematurely turning his hair gray.  

Bienvenidos a Mexico!  Crossing the border in Nogales, Arizona in May 2016... 



I was lying wide awake in bed at 5:00 this morning, when the idea for this post popped in my head.  I heard a familiar (and unwelcome!) squawking sound outside our bedroom window and I thought, "Ugh, I hope it's not black and yellow obnoxious bird season already!"  Now... I have zero idea what kind of bird it is or if they really have a "noisy season" in our area, but I do know that our first spring here, we were woken up by a flock of inconsiderate black and yellow squawkers outside our bedroom window before dawn every single morning for several weeks.  

Bored, and not sleeping anyway (as per usual)... I grabbed my phone and tried Googling, "black and yellow squawking bird nayarit mexico" and found this likely candidate... He looks harmless, but don't be fooled.  These guys make roosters sound like pigeons... 



I set my phone down and thought about how it's interesting that some things can only be learned about a place by living there for a while.  And that those are the things that make a place feel like "home."  I thought back to three years ago and silently laughed at how nervous I was to make this big move; how much planning and preparing and research I attempted to do...  I thought... "A Google search couldn't have taught me when not to sleep with the windows open if you don't want a black and yellow alarm clock."  Bingo!  An idea was born.... "Things Google Can't Teach You" 

Let's rewind a little... In early 2016, before we left Seattle, I started writing a blog (that I never posted) entitled, "Things I Never Thought I Would Google" while we were neck-deep in the visa process, researching and preparing for our big move, selling everything we owned, etc.  

Just a few of the many, many searches I did:  
  • Dog groomers in Bucerias, Nayarit 
  • How long does it take to get a Mexican Visa
  • Mexican Consulate in Seattle 
  • Mini vans for sale in Auburn, Washington 
  • Eyelash extensions in Puerto Vallarta (muy importante!) 
  • Requirements to bring a dog across the border 
  • Quickest way to learn Spanish
  • Why the hell doesn't Pandora work in Mexico?
  • Does Amazon ship to Mexico?????  
  • Sports bars near La Cruz de Huanacaxtle (because, priorities) 
  • Which brand of sunscreen is the best? 
  • Do I need to get vaccinated to move to Mexico?
  • Is there a Costco in Puerto Vallarta?  
  • Gyms near Bucerias, Nayarit 
  • Poisonous bugs and snakes in western Mexico (I do NOT recommend this search) 

The months leading up to our move South of the Border were a whirlwind of to-dos while both still working full-time -- add to the fact that we decided to throw together a last-minute wedding / going-away party... It was a stressful time, and when we left, I had lists upon lists of items I hadn't gotten a chance to do or research, and I felt so unprepared the morning we drove away from our cute little river cottage for the last time.  Well... The joke was on me, because it wouldn't have mattered how much research I had been able to do before we got here, because I felt like an inept, culture-shocked, fish out of water for a solid 12-18 months, despite all my "planning."  

There's a million things that Google can't teach a person about moving to a new country, but I'll spare you the boring stories about banking processes, immigration, power outages, etc. and instead share with you the silly sounds that make our little fishing village feel like home. Enjoy.  



The Sounds of (Our) Mexico:
(Side Note:  The following pictures are Google images, but accurate to our area... I didn't want to go out on a scavenger hunt/wild goose case taking photos but wanted you to have an idea what our life is like.) 

  • If you hear someone incessantly laying on their horn while driving by your house - don't get angry.  Instead, that's your signal to run out onto the sidewalk and flag them down, because they're selling garrafones de agua purificada (big jugs of purified drinking water) for 20 pesos each, and it saves you a trip to the corner tienda.  


  • If you hear a pretty flute sound moving through your neighborhood, it isn't a kid learning to play an instrument... It's the "knife-sharpening guy" who rides around the streets on his bike-turned-mobile business, calling out to see if anyone would like their kitchen knives sharpened.  He sets up his pedal-powered sharpening wheel on your doorstep and gets to work polishing blades so Abuelita can keep cranking out her famous carne asada tacos for the local workers on their lunch breaks. 


  • If you hear what sounds like the world's least-appetizing ice cream truck... It's a safe bet that it's actually a SoniGas truck blaring it's very loud "jingle" while driving around to see if anyone needs to switch out their empty propane cylinder for a fresh one.  Very convenient for yours truly, since I still only take HOT showers... 


  • If you hear what sounds like loud, jibberish-y singing (that's the best I can describe it,) then there's likely a man walking around outside carrying a giant basket of bread and pastries on his head and he's letting you know he has baked goods for sale.  (This particular sound is probably very specific to our village, but Ty and I always know when "bread man" is in the vicinity.) 


  • If you hear what sounds like a boombox tied to the top of a truck driving slowing through the streets in the spring and summer months - do yourself a favor and look out your window, because odds are the sound is going to belong to a beat up pick-up truck with a giant pile of watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapples or jackfruit selling for cheeeeeap.  Yes, please.   


  • If you hear what can only be described as cannons going off very early in the morning, invite your frightened pup to cuddle with you in bed and just accept the fact that it's a Mexican holiday and that there are only, like, 2-9 more days of celebrations. (Just kidding.....except not really.) 
  • If you can't figure out what the chirping/trilling sound is (but it's definitely coming from inside your house and not through the open windows)... Don't be alarmed, it's just a friendly, bug-eating gecko hiding behind a picture on the wall waiting for a tasty spider to scurry by.  I'll take geckos over spiders and scorpions any day!  They also eat cockroaches, so they are my bestest amiguitos

  • If you are kept awake welllll into the night/early morning because there's a giant fiesta with blaring banda music happening in the empty field near your house... then a local family is most likely celebrating a wedding or quinceanera - which are very important (and often elaborate) events to the Mexican people.  The family usually hosts hundreds of people and likely has to work very hard and save a lot of money to make it happen.  It's a very proud, happy day for them (and the only people who'll ever complain about the noise are white people, *clears throat*.)  So, take a chill pill (or a few shots of tequila), pop in some earplugs and just go with it.  Or better yet... Join them!  Mexican parties are the BEST parties!!  Just ask Ty... 



I'm sure there are a lot of other distinct regional sounds that I'm forgetting, so if you also live in Nayarit (or spend a lot of time here), tell me your favorite "Sounds of Mexico!"  

I'm off to flag down the water guy... Adiós mis amigos!  

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Where have we been?


Hola, a todos!  I was gonna say Happy New Year, but my calendar tells me it's almost APRIL already?! How did that happen?  I mean... It's normal for me not to know what day it is, but I should probably be better about knowing what month it is, I suppose.  Not to sound like a cliche, but where does the time go??  This spring marks our THIRD year living in Nayarit, Mexico as full-time residents.  Our Temporary Residency Visas are still valid for another year, and when they're due again, it's more than likely we'll be applying for permanent residency...and eventually citizenship.  Because let's face it - we're never moving back to the U.S.  But that's a topic for another post!  

Proof that we're alive and well... 





I've mentioned before that I've felt less inspired to write these past several months, because sights and experiences that once seemed "shocking" have become the (almost) mundane.  A guy and his wife riding a motorcycle on the highway with a tiny infant smashed between them?  That's just called a Mexican car seat.  Having to scoop an iguana out of the pool after he dived in to escape a pack of dogs?  That's just a typical doggy play date at your girlfriend's house any random afternoon.... And I mean... no one wants to read about how we spend most evenings on the couch watching Netflix movies with Spanish subtitles, am I right? 


Don't worry - no iguanas were harmed in the making of this post... 





*********************************

I have 3 blog posts in draft form right now, that I'll definitely finish soon-ish now that tourist season is winding down, but here are some blog titles that you have to look forward to in the near future: 
  • "Oh, the Irony" 
  • "Fat & (Un)Happy:  3 Years of Vacation Mode"
  • "Questions I Will Probably Never Find the Answers To" 
You're on the edge of your seat, I can tell!  

While I'm still kicking those posts around in my noggin, I thought I should just update all my wonderful readers about what has been going on in our very exciting, glamorous lives these past months.  (Said with as much sarcasm as humanly possible.)


Let's recap... If you remember, we were let go last summer from the beachfront hotel we were managing and then we sort of haphazardly bounced around for a few months not sure of what to do next.  We landed a few small rental management gigs right away, but the biggest priority was finding somewhere to live before Ty got any funny ideas about living in our van.  (And don't think he wouldn't!)  


We found a little house in La Cruz that would accept our 100-pound fur ball, so we signed a year lease and moved in at the end of September.  We've been in our little home for six months now, and we're enjoying it for the most part.  We still hope to eventually find a place of our own, but for now, we aren't homeless or living out of suitcases, so I won't complain (about that.) 





We had a bit of a hurricane scare in October with Hurricane Willa, which led to lots of concerned texts and calls from family and friends up north.  Ironically, we're way less afraid of hurricane warnings than we are of just regular ol' summer thunderstorms.  Big storms hundreds of miles off the coast usually just create "bitchin" waves for the local surfers to chase and lots and lots of gray, soggy rain.  Supposedly, Vallarta is more "protected" by the geography of Banderas Bay than the rest of Mexico's western coastline, so thankfully, it was anti-climactic for us.  Unfortunately, I can't say the same for our neighbors to the north in Northern Nayarit and Southern Sinaloa where Willa made landfall as a Category 3 though.  😔

The storms that are actually scary in our area happen on a random Wednesday in September when there are TORRENTIAL downpours, dangerous flash floods, lightning-fried transformers and power outages, and hours and hours of bone-rattling thunder so unfathomably LOUD that you are forced to rethink what you've considered "loud" up until that point in your life.  Yeah.  During hurricane warnings we snuggle up on the couch and make cozy comfort foods and watch movies - during big ass thunderstorms we cling to each other for dear life!



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Over Thanksgiving week, several of our friends from Portland came down to visit us and we all celebrated "Friendsgiving" together.  Nothing says Turkey Day quite like zip-lining, golfing, sailing, waterfalls, pool parties and lots of late, craaaaaazy nights, am I right??   

And we were fortunate to have a professional photographer in our crew, because apparently I didn't take a single photo.  Ooops.  Thanks for capturing the memories, Jenna! 



Sailing trip to Yelapa with our buddy Captain Mike on Red Dolphin Cruises 



Yelapa Waterfall


The girls and Schiffer zip-lining in Higuera Blanca... 




Pool shenanigans.... 



Just a little man-tub love in a giant mermaid... nothing to see here.  


Dinner on the beach... Mezzogiorno in Bucerias 
The rest of the holidays were uneventful in comparison... When you work in the hospitality industry in a coastal tourist town, you don't really get to celebrate Christmas or New Year totally obligation-free.  We went to dinner at a friend's house on Christmas Day, but my phone rang off the hook because someone was looking for a last-minute room and I ended up having to go home for a while to take care of it.  We had dinner with friends on New Year's Eve also and watched the firework show at the La Cruz Marina, but promptly went home at 12:01 a.m. because we had 3 "turnovers" the following day.  (Guests checking out the same day new guests are arriving.)  So, the holidays were hectic, but alright. 

Since January, we've been busy with hotel things - I'll save you the boring details - but after we get through Semana Santa (Holy Week/Easter) in a few weeks, things will quiet down a lot for us.  By far, February is always the busiest and most popular month for tourism and this past February felt like the whole Bay exploded with people.  There were lost-looking folks in floppy hats as far as the eye could see!  We had rolling brown outs, internet outages, gas and propane shortages (both for home use and at gas stations) and ATMs and banks all over town were running out of cash.  It was nuts!  The socially anxious little turtle in me pretty much wanted to hide inside and wait for winter to be over... 


This past week has been a bit of an anomaly for us... We had some free time available, so we decided to "play tourist in our own town," as I like to call it.  One day we made the hour-long walk via the beach to Bucerias to have lunch and to shop at the souvenir market, just for something different to do.  And like everyone else there, I bought a hat, sunglasses, a fan and paid too much for a bottle of tequila.  Haha.  And then last weekend, we joined our good friends in Puerto Vallarta and stayed downtown for a few nights celebrating a birthday... We danced, we shopped, we swam...and we para-sailed!!  



Ty and I on Playa de Los Muertos (in said hat and sunglasses I just bought)...



The birthday crew doing some people-watching and pre-partying at the "Redneck Bar"... 


Ty coming in for a landing! 


I was the only one who took their phone up... The view wasn't terrible. 


If you didn't take a selfie, did it really happen?  


And then we came home on Tuesday sunburned, exhausted, ready to eat some vegetables and go to bed at a reasonable hour, so I'd say our "tourist week" was a success.  



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This upcoming summer will be our fourth in Nayarit and even though I always dread the soul-crushing humidity and blood-thirsty mosquitoes, the slowness and "empty" feeling of town has become really refreshing after a whirlwind tourist season.  All of the snowbirds and part-timers will go back to the U.S. or Canada in April and the Bay empties out as quickly as it filled up in November...and it kinda feels like a big sigh of relief.  It's like throwing a huge, wild, rockin' party at your house that goes well into the night, and when your guests finally leave at 4:00 in the morning, you say... "That was a lot of fun; let's not do it again any time soon."  High Season is always exciting while it's happening, but Low Season has a lot going for it too, just in a less hurried/exhausting way.... (Check back with me in October when I'm GRUMPY AS HELL, covered in bug bites and cursing Mexico summers - my "vibes" might be just a tad different by then.) 


In July, we have a trip to Portland and Seattle planned to visit family and friends, as per usual, so Ty doesn't miss his beloved yearly boys' golf trip to Central Oregon.  This'll be our third trip home, but I always hesitate to call it a "vacation"... Everyone we'd like to see while we're in town, still needs to work and run errands and deal with kid stuff and responsibilities, so Ty and I are often the only ones on "stay-up-late-and-make-bad-decisions mode" when we go home to visit.  Trying to make plans is usually us saying, "Let's get dinner on Tuesday!"...and then so-and-so saying it'll be too hard with rush hour traffic and they have to get up early the next morning, and it just doesn't happen.  Womp womp.   


A similar thing happens when people come to visit us in Mexico too, though.  They're ready to live it up on an all-day excursion sin niños o trabajo (and we wanna join them!), but we usually have to plan around rental responsibilities because we're not completely free of adulting (yet.)  


Speaking of vacations... I took it upon myself and booked Ty and I a week-long stay in Tulum in early December!!!  I wrote a really whiny post a while back, entitled, "I Need a Vacation from my Vacation" about how we don't go on "real" vacations since moving to Mexico (yes, I realize how obnoxious I sound right now), and the same kind of feeling has been bumming me out lately... 


No matter how much we love living in La Cruz, I think it's natural to want to visit places you don't see everyday... When you're just living your normal life, any place can lose its luster.  We pay bills, we go to Costco, run errands, go to appointments, walk the dog, argue about who's turn it is to put away the clean laundry, and ask each other, "What should we make for dinner?" just like the rest of the world.  


So, while pouting about all of the above one night, I happened to look up domestic flights departing out of Puerto Vallarta and found out we can fly to Cancun for a whopping 45 bucks each way, which includes luggage.  Say what???  I couldn't have whipped my credit card out any faster and then very excitedly asked Ty if we can plan a trip to Mexico's other coast in the fall.  He gave me his signature stern, we'll-have-to-talk-about-it-look, at a feeble attempt to make me think he was going to put up a fuss about it.  But I've known Ty for 13 years and in Swedish Dolphin speak, that looks always means, "Do whatever you want, babe.  But I'm gonna pretend to say no first because I like to tease you incessantly."   


I booked flights and then I spent the next two days researching hotels and must-dos in Tulum.  We're going to visit ancient ruins, snorkel in underground caves (cenotes), rent a canopy bed on the beach, and eat and drink too much...and I have 8 months to look forward to every minute of it. 


(Google Photo of the Ruins of Tulum)



WOW.  This post turned into a way longer blabber-fest than intended.  If you made it this far, congratulations.  Or, I'm sorry.  I'm not sure which.  Well, we're off to walk Bloo and make something boring and healthy for dinner... Don't be too jealous of our Sunday Funday!  


Sunday, December 23, 2018

Nuestra Casa

I haven't written an update post in a while, so let's recap... When I wrote the post, "Homeless, Kinda," we had just been notified that our contract at our boutique hotel wasn't going to be renewed and that we were going to move into a lackluster rental house in La Cruz that I wasn't at all excited about.  

BUT...like, 10 seconds after I hit "publish" on that blog post we were notified that the landlord was backing out of the agreement we made months prior and didn't want to rent to us anymore because of Bloo.  Um, WHAT???  Clearly she needs to be educated on how much of a perfect gentleman he is, but I digress.  This was at the end of August and we needed to be out of our temporary summer digs by September 22nd.  Awesome!  So... With 3 weeks left and no where to go, yours truly started to panic just a tiny bit about actually being homeless.  I may have even called Ty in (crazy lady) tears while he was golfing when I found out our agreement fell through, but you can't prove it.   

Thankfully, the rental agent knew of another house that would allow Bloo and we were able to work out a deal and move in on our original move-in date.  Phew.  I don't know what it is or how he does it, but Ty just makes things work out.  I keep saying that his Engvall luck is going to run out eventually, but for my sanity's sake, I reeeeeally hope it doesn't. 

Our new place is probably the biggest house we've ever lived in together, and it's more space than we need/care to have, but we're diggin our new home.  And that's the best part:  I get to use the word HOME without thinking, "Well... Home-ish," after I say it.  For the last couple of years, we've very literally been living in someone else's home, among their clothes, decor, family photos...even toothbrushes.  So, having a space we can finally customize to our liking (well, to a point, I'm not allowed to paint the walls...boooo), has felt really satisfying.  

Our humble abode... 










For the Curious Georges back home wondering what the cost of living is like in our part of Mexico... We are renting a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in a small, gated community.  Included with the rent is water, garbage, landscaping, 24-hour security and access to the large community pool.  We are 2 blocks from the beach and a 15-minute walk to downtown La Cruz.  Our house also has A/C, a large Smart TV and it came with all the large furniture like beds, couches, dressers, tables, etc.  For all of this we pay.....drum roll please....$800 USD per month.  (But don't even get me started on the fact that we have to pay our Mexican landlord in DOLLARS in Mexico where we earn pesos.  So annoying.)  

Like anywhere, rent ranges greatly based on location and the duration of your lease... We're kinda on the outskirts of town, so our rent is pretty cheap compared to downtown or more "exciting" neighborhoods (like beachfront, duh.)  We also have to pay for our own gas, electricity and WiFi so in total we pay about $900 USD per month.  (I'm guessing some people back home thought we paid much less because "Mexico is so cheap," am I right?)  

We signed a year lease, so it's comforting to know we aren't going to be homeless again for a while.  We'd really like to buy or build a house here, but there just isn't a lot of inventory in our price range considering we'd have to pay in cash and we can only buy "titled" land.  (Versus "Ejido" land, which can only be owned by a Mexican National.)  So, our options are very limited in the housing market unfortunately.  

We haven't told our parents this yet (or my bestie cousin, Hilary, who's been begging us to move back to Portland for 2.5 years)... But we actually put an offer on a (major) fixer-upper in our little neighborhood a few weeks ago.  We were really excited about it, but the owner came back asking for an outrageous number considering it needs $40K in renovations, so the deal didn't go anywhere.  Those of you who know us well (or have read my other blog), know that Ty likes to buy the worst house in a good neighborhood and then ask me to fix it up - the same would have been true if we bought this house.  The previous tenant was a legit dog hoarder and it is in rough shape. (No pun intended, haha.)  I got really excited at the prospect of getting to wield a sledge hammer and power tools again, but it looks like that's not happening any time soon.  

Anyway... Not much else is new with us, but we're still alive and well and enjoying our new home.  I'm off to shop for last-minute stocking stuffers for my Swedish Grinch and precious pup.  Merry Christmas from your three favorite dorks south of the border!