3 Months Later...

Hmm... What exciting things shall I bore you with today?   I don't really have a topic in mind, so I'll just start blabbering and see what happens.  Oh wait.  That's what I always do. 

I happened to check the date today (it's already late August?!) and realized that today marks 3 months since arriving in La Cruz.  Strangely though, it feels like we've been here so much longer than that.  

My favorite part of living in Mexico so far is the affordability and simplicity of daily life here.  We are living very comfortably on very little... We walk to the market for produce, the marina for fresh fish, the carniceria (butcher shop) for local beef, the tortilleria for daily-made tortillas... We also walk to lots of local, "plastic chair" taco stands and torta shops.  And everywhere we go we're so shocked at how cheap it is compared to what we're used to.  The reverse sticker shock hasn't worn off yet... 

We've made lots of Mexican friends thanks to our new buddy Ernesto (Baku's full-time maintenance Hefe) who has kinda taken us under his wing and shown us "how the locals do it"... He's taken us to new towns and whole-in-the-wall restaurants and little villages and a bunch of places we probably wouldn't have found on our own.  

Last month he took us to a first communion ceremony for his niece which is a very big deal here (the girls all looked like tiny brides!), followed by his uncle's house for celebratory Birria (a super yummy goat stew typically eaten on Sundays), where we were treated like special guests... 

He makes regular, random stops by our house and asks if we wanna have some "divertido" (fun) with he and his friends or his lovely wife.  Whether it's riding in the back of a pick-up truck to get "mom and pop" tacos, or sitting under a ramada (palm frond awning) talking and laughing for hours...or taking us on a private tour of the north shore, we always have a lot of fun and we always come away with something new.  He's patient of our "gringo Spanish" and is always willing to teach us new words or phrases or customs or answer any of our newbie questions.  I think he really enjoys having us here (if only for his own entertainment.  Ha!)  We've been very fortunate to have him around everyday to help us navigate our new home.  Everywhere we go, people are friendly and welcoming and patient...and despite blips of homesickness now and then, all is well in Mexico.  

My least favorite part of living in Mexico is the freaking bugs!!!  Thankfully we haven't had any more "nope" experiences since that toddler-sized spider came racing outta my bathrobe a couple months ago...as I was putting it on.  Hmm...I don't think I've actually mentioned that mortifying event on here since it was after I had written my creepy crawly post.  It was after I had just gotten out of the shower and I reached for my robe hanging on a hook on the wall... Just as I flung it around me and stuck my arms in the sleeves, I felt something big and fuzzy shimmy down my leg and then I watched a rat with 8 legs sprint across the bathroom floor as I screamed for Ty to save me.  Because, duh. 

Here's Ty's Facebook post moments after he rescued my naked butt from imminent danger... In case you can't tell, that sucker was about FIVE inches in diameter.  FIVE.  I was traumatized for at least two weeks -- tip-toeing around the house like I was gonna find a friggen grenade in my sock drawer. 

Anyway, after dousing our house in Orson Home Defense spray after one too many "nopes", we've seen zero spiders and maybe one or two cockroaches, so that hasn't been a problem at all anymore (I still have to shake out my bathrobe before I put it on, but)... Our biggest frustration/annoyance are the damn mosquitoes!!!  

Mosquitoes are a problem here in the summer because of the rain and humidity, but even worse for us, is that we live on a dirt road with deep ruts and zero drainage...so every time there's a torrential downpour (which is often) our road looks like a muddy river for days and days...and it's just a disgusting breeding ground for a bazillion little blood-suckers.  Much of our days are spent applying creams and sprays and lighting citronella candles and slapping our skin and iiiiiiittttttccccchhhhhing.  I'm convinced they actually like DEET and it's making them like immortal or something, because there is just no relief.  It's hell.  I'm covered in bites and scabs and scars and I'm about to lose my mind.  One of the cons about living in a semi-tropical climate, for sure... I'm ready for it to be winter. 

It's POURED the last 3 nights in a row... This is the worst we've seen the road so far.  It's no wonder Baku closes during the summer! 

Which reminds me of my next random topic!  Thanks to the bugs and heat and humidity we were inspired to take a mini vacay inland to Guadalajara this week!  It's like the 4th most-populated city in Mexico which means I'm going to be an anxiety-filled, whacked-out stress ball because I don't like crowds or lines or traffic or people in general...but it's about 10 degrees cooler there (a low of 68 at night!?!  Yes, please!) and we're excited to explore a new part of Mexico.  

We're taking a privately-owned bus there which is basically just an airport on wheels... They have WiFi and TVs and bathrooms and alla the fance things, all for about 50 bucks round-trip per person.  It's about a 4 hour drive from here, so we'd easily spend that on gas if we were to drive ourselves.  But this way, we don't have to worry about navigating crazy traffic and not knowing where we're going.  Blog post next week about our adventure! 

Let's see... What else have we been up to?  One or two or three weekends ago (I have no awareness of time anymore) we had a major lightening/thunderstorm and our modem/router got zapped basically, and we lost internet.  Ty took the router to the telephone company in Bucerias the following morning and explained that it no longer worked and they handed him a new one for free.  THE VERY NEXT EVENING the same exact thing happened...big storm, no internet.  There were actual sparks in our kitchen and then the modem went dead.  

It was late Saturday night and we knew the telephone company would be closed the next day and that we would be without internet until at least Monday.  You don't realize how much you rely on WiFi until you're without it... We played some board games on Sunday and actually HAD TO TALK TO EACH OTHER.  But we survived, just like the people from the olden days. 

That Sunday afternoon, Ty was pouting pretty hard about not being able to watch the golf-tournament-of-the-day so we decided to go to the sports bar in Bucerias for lunch...but for some silly reason we decided to walk there instead of drive.  Walking to Bucerias (via the beach) is something we've done every year when we vacation here and it's a lot of fun.  Except we learned the hard way, that it's not as much fun when you forget to check the tide tables before you leave the house.  We mistakenly made our trek during super high tide and had to do quite a bit of sketchy maneuvering across slippery rocks and shallow waters to make it to our destination.  It took us over 2 hours!  And along the way we had to step over a half-eaten iguana, trespass private property and just keep hoping that it wasn't gonna start pouring rain before we got there.  We, of course, took the bus home after all that. 

Something we used to do back home that we recently started up again here is "going to church"... Every Sunday, we would pick a green spot on the map, load Bloo up in the car and take long, scenic drives with no plans or real destinations in mind.  We'd sing along to great music, we'd talk and laugh, enjoy the scenery and forget about stress for a couple hours...and then we'd come home and make cozy comfort food.  It was easily my favorite part of the week.  We aren't religious people, so we always joked it was our version of "going to church" on Sundays.  

This weekend, outta nowhere Ty said, "Wanna go to church?"  I didn't even have to think about it...we grabbed Bloo and headed out the door with zero plans.  We drove around for at least a couple hours.  We explored little towns, saw lush, rolling mountains and pineapple farms, we people-watched and took mental notes of restaurants or places we wanted to come back to, we didn't care about getting lost...we talked, we laughed, we sang.  It was a perfect day.   Side note:  Mexico seriously makes me wanna take up photography... Yesterday we saw a girl riding a horse down the road while talking on her cell phone.  Where are we?!

Well, I think that's all the "updates" I have for you today... Oh wait! 

Thursday was a "big" day for me!  For the first time in 3 months I drove all by myself!!  (There's something I never thought I would say.)  I drove to the supermarket in Bucerias about 15 minutes from here because Ty was busy cleaning pools and we needed some items for guests that stayed here over the weekend.  So, I had to put on my big girl pants (errr...shorts) and get over my anxiety of driving in a foreign country with lax traffic laws and handle it like a boss lady, which I did, of course.  However, as I was paying for my groceries with the credit card I haven't used in three months (I never bring my wallet anywhere because Ty always has his or we pay in cash) I realized that I had forgotten how to sign my name.  Palm to face.  I was thiiiiisssss close to adulting.

Alright... I'm outta here.  (I never know how to end these pointless ramblings.)  Adios!!  

Things I miss...

It's a given that I miss my friends and family and co-workers and fitness buddies....but there are lot of little comforts of home that I miss too.  Since I'm super allergic to talking about my real feelings, I'm gonna write about the latter.... 

Some little things I miss...

I miss super fuzzy Bloo...but even more than that, I miss snuggling with my pup.  Back home, our lazy boy probably spent 80% of his time on the couch in one of our laps, or spread out in our bed.  (He might even have thought that it was HIS bed and he let us sleep in it with him on occasion.)  

But since we've been here, he prefers to lay on the cool tile floors... Also, the furniture here doesn't belong to us, so we trained him (really, really quickly because he's a genius) to stay off of it.  So, if I want puppy love, I gotta go down to his level.  Which I do, of course, because he is my most favorite creature in the whole world.  Duh.  

As I mentioned in my last post, I miss having any control whatsoever over my hair.  I've always had naturally curly hair but I've been straightening it for over a decade.  To let it stay curly requires a bunch of hair products to keep the frizz at bay, and even then I never knew what in the hell it was gonna do during the day... It was always just easier and less work to flat iron...and I'm a laaaaazzzy girl.  But here, flat ironing is totally pointless because I just sweat my face off the entire time and my hair ends up wet and frizzy before I'm even finished.  And all the products in the world can't combat tropical rain and one million percent humidity.  So, I've resorted to locking my hair down in tight braids or slicked back buns or whatever else that will work as a straight jacket for this crazy ass tumbleweed sprouting from my noggin right now.  (Update!  Since starting this post I got a much-needed Brazilian Blowout as a birthday present from my sweet mother-in-law and now Ty is the only homeless-looking member of the family.  Thanks again, Janis!!)  I should have taken a before pic, but just imagine if a poodle and a lion had a baby and that baby moved to Mexico in August.  

I also miss having the option of wearing makeup.  Let me rephrase...makeup is super pointless here, because it'll just be streaking down my face in 15 minutes.  In fact, if I try to put anything on my face (lotions, creams, serums, foundation, whatever) I have to run and sit in front of a fan until it dries because if I don't it'll just turn into a sweat mask... I've never been much of a girly girl, but it'd be nice to swipe on some eyeliner now and then when we're going out.  Have you ever tried to draw on a wet balloon with a Sharpie?  Well, I haven't either.  But I imagine it's like trying to put on eyeliner in Mexico in August.  Annoyingly, the Mexican women here always have flawless makeup and frizz-free hair and no signs of permanent sweat-staches like yours truly.  Apparently I need lessons on how to lady like a Mexican.  

On a related note... I miss not being covered in sweat.  I should be kinda used to it because of my previous job as a personal trainer/bootcamp instructor...but having to constantly sop up my face/neck/chest when I'm doing something as little as eating dinner, is new and gross.  I also miss Ty having dry skin...he's always sorta sticky/clammy/salty/greasy-looking now and freaks out if I come within a foot of him.  And we're still stubbornly refusing to use the air conditioning in our house for some reason...  As soon as it started hitting 80 degrees back home, we were firing up the A/C...but here where it's 90 degrees every day with 80% humidity (and according to my weather app, it "feels like 111 degrees")...we never turn it on.  Go figure. 

We also both miss not being eaten alive by mosquitoes on the daily.  And not being covered in itchy bites and bloody scabs.  The mosquitoes are terrible here during the summer because of the heavy rain, muddy puddles and general dampness.  Sprays, lotions, repellents, candles, etc. have little affect and we both spend a good portion of the day swatting at our bare legs and scratching yesterday's bites.  As I type this, I keep clawing at the welts on my shins and ankles.  Is it winter yet?!

I miss sleeping through the night.  Have I mentioned it's hot here??  Even with a ceiling fan above our bed and a floor fan pointed directly at us all night, it's tough to find 8 solid hours of sleep.  Two nights ago was extra fun... We had our loudest, wildest thunderstorm yet and Ty ran outside (totally naked and barefoot!  Haha!) to force our bedroom windows closed because our bed was getting rained on.  Ahhh, tropical life. 

I think Ty and I can both agree that we miss standard kitchen amenities you'd find back in the states... Dishwasher, ice-maker, garbage disposal, etc.  Because of the harsh climate, mineral-rich water, winds and rain and heat and sun and humidity...appliances simply don't last as long here.  And if you're near the beach, it's even worse... So, houses here are usually kept pretty basic.  A garbage disposal isn't seen as a luxury or upgrade....it's just another thing that will need fixing and/or replacing in a year or two.  

I really miss reuben sandwiches and eggs benedict.  My two most-ordered restaurant dishes.  Sigh.  Not surprisingly, Ty has been happily dousing absolutely everything in hot sauce and topping all our meals with avocado...no matter what it is, it gets avocado.

I miss having everything available at my fingertips.  The selection in stores is just not what it is back home.  I'm used to like an entire aisle of spray paint at Home Depot, having Amazon deliver me silly "necessities" at a push of a button, and knowing where to find anything and everything.  Here...everything is kinda spread out and you gotta like know who to ask or research something to find what you need or go to lots of little separate stores.  Or.... You just ship stuff to your aunt who is coming to visit in a few months.  (Thanks, Pam!)  

I miss having clean feet!  Considering the beach is a stone's throw away and our house is on a dirt road and we wear nothing but flip flops...our feet are usually pretty dirty by the end of the day.  And Poncho, Baku's resident beach-loving pup, tracks in a hefty amount of sand every day after frolicking in the waves...so, no matter how hard we try to avoid it, we basically walk on sandy floors and sleep in sandy sheets every night.  

I miss having a bath tub.  Not that a hot bath sounds good in this heat...but I'm just super lazy and sometimes I wanna have the option of laying down after a long day of yard work. 

I think the hardest thing for me so far is feeling so out of my element... I miss feeling like a competent adult.  I've always considered myself extremely independent... I bought my first car with cash from waiting tables at 16, I left home immediately after graduating high school at 17 and worked 3 part-time jobs to support myself, I was a homeowner by 21, I was managing several men more than twice my age by 25 even though I didn't have a college education, I quit my corporate job at 27 and went to school and graduated at the top of my class, and I became a very successful personal trainer and bootcamp instructor running classes of 30 people like a BOSS!  But since arriving here... I feel like I've reverted back to being a socially awkward, inept teenager.  Moving to a new town is hard enough to acclimate to... But a new country, new language, new cultural, new traffic laws, whole new world...it's been a lot for me to adjust to.  I feel pretty dysfunctional and small and incapable most of the time now.  When you can't communicate with people you see everyday, it can be pretty disheartening.  Oops.  Enough talking about feelings...insert witty, sarcastic joke here.

With the buzz around football season starting soon (already?!?!) I've been feeling nostalgic for frosty Sundays on the couch in my Seahawks hoodie watching the games while chili is simmering on the stove and Ty is chopping wood in the garage.  Siggggghhh.  I also miss this vision of Sunday napping PERFECTION....

I think I'm going to also really miss American holidays as I know them.  We're throwing an early Thanksgiving dinner for some family that's visiting in mid November and it'll be interesting trying to find alla the traditional ingredients to go along with it... I'm also curious to see what people use as Christmas trees around here and what it'll be like to celebrate this year's holidays in shorts rather than coats.

I guess that's enough blah blah for one post... Sorry this week's rendition of nonsense was super long and less than entertaining.  Love you all!  

Just Because...

Ty commented a few days ago that I haven't written a blog post in a while, and that I haven't even been talking about post ideas (apparently he actually listens when I talk!?)  And I admitted that I haven't really felt up to it lately.  I felt my first real twinge of homesickness this past week, no real reason why, I've just been missing little things... And then I spent the last two days in bed (and the bathroom) with a painful urinary tract infection...so, needless to say I haven't been in the best of spirits lately. 

But, as I was reading my Kindle in bed and semi-listening to Ty chat and laugh with his family on the phone in the living room about all the goings-on in our new, little life... I realized he had basically written a post for me.  So, here's your update in short story-style... 

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He told his brother about what happened the other day while I was doing yard work.  I was hedging/pruning very tall, fast-growing, thorny bushes...and they were pretty overgrown and I was really going to town with a pair of shears...not really paying too-close attention.  I was letting all the overgrown, spikey stems fall on the dirt road with the intention of raking them up and hauling them off after I was done... 

While cutting, I happened to glance down and notice something on the ground a few feet away from me wiggling.  I immediately thought it was a snake and let out a little, "Ah!"  And then my next thought was...."Oh, cool, he's a striped snake."  And my next...."Where is his head?"  

It wasn't a snake, mi amigos.  No, no, no.  I unknowingly chopped off an iguana's tail while hedging!!  Apparently, that's a thing, too.  As an animal lover, I was MORTIFIED.  And it wiggled for like 5 friggen minutes, despite being unattached.  Like a chicken with its head cut off.  Mortified.  

Luckily, lizards grow their tails back...but still.  Uggh.  (Why didn't I think to take a picture so you could be mortified for me?!)  I went and grabbed Ty to show him the horrific thing I had done, and he said, "Sorry, babe.  He'll be okay." while trying not-very-hard-at-all to keep from laughing at me.

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He also told them about the Baku-hosted party we helped throw for the construction workers on Saturday.  Apparently, it's tradition here to throw the workers a fiesta after a contract is complete (that's another thing), which for Baku, was this past Saturday.  

Chef Ty offered to make them authentic steak tacos and Marianne made a tasty chocolate cake as a special treat, and I ran around frazzled trying to be helpful.  (You know, the usual.)  

There were about 10 of us that sat at plastic tables under the cool palms drinking cold drinks, eating and laughing...for like 9 hours.  No lie.  What was meant to be "lunch" went until after dark.  And it was easily one of the best nights we've had here so far.  

The Mexican guys practiced their bad English, and we practiced our even worse Spanish and there was a lot of charade-playing to aide our language barrier.  We've determined that really is the best way to learn Spanish here.... Dive right in and embarrass yourself.  

Who knows... You may even get a shirtless pic with your new best friend, Dengue, who also doesn't believe in wearing camisas. 

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What else....?  Senor Perfecto (as everyone now refers to him after Saturday night's fiesta) is doing well and he got his stitches out this weekend.  He also got shaved recently because he was getting too fluffy and hot.  It cost a whopping 27 bucks to have him shaved including a generous tip...back in Seattle we paid about 80 bucks.

Also, I check the "stats" on this silly little blog on occasion (because it must make me feel slightly entertaining or something to know that I'm not writing to thin air) and Bloo's post "Mr. Perfect" has officially hit the highest-ranking post with a 182 reads.  Because, duh.  Everyone loves Bloo more than either Ty or I.  As they should.   

~~~~~~~~~

Last week, on one of the days I was feeling a little down, Ty decided to get me out of the house and we drove 30-ish minutes into downtown Puerto Vallarta.  We parked on a too-narrow street, we walked down the Malecon (boardwalk), took some touristy pictures, turned down lots of street vendors, checked out some cool architecture and stopped by our favorite fish taco stand on the way home... It was a good day.  

• Me: "Babe, take a picture with me by the water."
• Ty:  "Oh, we're gonna take the same selfie we always take whenever we go anywhere?  How original."
• Me:  "Shut up and pretend you're happy." 
• Ty:  "I never know where to look!!"
• Me:  "You're wearing sunglasses!  It doesn't matter!"  *camera clicks*
• Me:  "Ugh, let's take another one."   *camera clicks 10 more times*

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Ty didn't talk about this with his family, but I'm sure you're all dying to know.... My hair is officially the 4th member of our family and we've namd it Simba because it legitimately gets BIGGER every single day and has its own personality and does whatever the hell it wants to, like a disobedient toddler...err, lion cub.  

I've given up hope that any product will help calm the beast on top of my head...mousse, gels, creams, oils, leave-in conditioners, anti-frizz serum, diffusers, straighters...NADA.  And after spending nearly 48 hours sick in bed with unwashed hair I was almost certain I was gonna crawl out with dreadlocks.  It's a genuine worry of mine.  

I finally caved and made an appointment next week at a "gringo salon" in the next town over.  I'm getting several inches chopped off next week (for a whopping 20 bucks) and then I'm getting a Brazilian Blowout soon after.  Fingers crossed it won't feel like I'm wearing a quilt on top of my head anymore.  

I'd post of a real pic of my hair, but ain't nobody wanna see that!  Except for Ty... Strangely he likes my frizzy, orphan look.  Probably cause I match his shirtless, beach bum look.  

Welp, I have the attention span of a hummingbird, so I'm suddenly done blabbering for the night.  Love and miss you all!   Buenos noches!!  

That's a Thing?

It's hard to truly know what to expect with a major move like this... It's impossible to have realistic expectations of what your "new normal" is gonna be like until after you've lived in a place for a while.  There have been a lot of surprising situations and even more of us saying, "That's a thing??" 

Please enjoy today's list of bullet points, because apparently that's all I know how to write...

THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW WERE THINGS:

• When you need purified water you don't go to the store to buy it... You simply wait for the Agua Man to drive down your street honking his horn and yelling loudly, "Agua!"  And then you pay him 16 pesos (84 cents) for your 5 gallon jug of drinking water.  That's a thing. 
• Same with gas/propane... It's not run underground here like in the states.  Our gas water heater and stove are hooked to a big canister on the side of our house, and when we run out, we wait for the gas man to drive down our street in his truck and we wave him down for a new one.  Gas is a little pricier at 452 pesos (24 bucks) per canister but our current one has lasted us for 6 weeks so far.  

Here's some super interesting pictures of our backup water storage, gas canisters and how drinking water is stored in the house.... 

• Walking a few blocks to the local vet for same-day puppy surgery to have an infected cyst removed is thankfully a thing here!  (Senor Perfecto is healing well, in case you were wondering.  I'm convinced it's because mama kisses heal all.  Duh.)

• Also, getting a vet bill for 62 bucks is a thing here.  A very awesome thing. 
• If you take your pup for an early morning walk through the marina, you run the risk of being followed by a pack of stray dogs.  That's a thing.  They weren't aggressive, just curious, but I still managed to stress out about our 4-legged entourage bothering my sheltered puppy gentleman with a fresh wound to the back of his head.
• They don't recycle glass or paper here.  They just put it in with regular garbage.  Say whaaa?  We don't buy much glass stuff because being a guilt-stricken person from the Pacific Northwest is also a thing.   
• When you have a question about how/where/when/what to do about absolutely anything whatsoever, you just post to one of the PV or La Cruz Facebook groups you belong to and a dozen or more helpful answers appear in your notifications within the hour.  That's a very handy thing.  It's like "Expats for dummies," and it's awesome.  
• When you need to buy some rope, you don't go to Home Depot or a hardware store.  You go to the rope store.  No lie.  They have all different widths, materials, strengths, etc.  But they only sell rope.  That's a thing.  
• There is also a screw store.  All they sell are different types and lengths of screws.  That's an odd thing. 
• How do you think Mexican construction workers cut cinder blocks to the exact perfect size/angle they need?  Fance equipment?  Nah.  A machete, a hammer and good eye-balling skills.  I feel like I would be really good at that, but I doubt Ty will ever let me try.  Him never letting me have any fun with tools, is also a thing.  
• There's a "guy" for everything... bamboo guy, palapa guy, brick-layer guy, rope guy, key-maker guy, pool guy, carpenter guy, palm tree-climber/coconut-cutter-downer guy.  You name it, there's always a guy.  That's a thing. 

Side note:  Palapas are vaulted roofs made out of woven palm fronds and they're very cool.  And also terrifying/fascinating to watch them install.  (Barefoot and crawling around on sketchy scaffolding and ladders like monkeys, basically.)  This is what they look like from the inside looking up....

• All the restaurants and retail places charge more in the summer because sales go way down during the off-season.  So, rather than discount prices, they jack them up.  Makes sense, right?  That's a thing. 
• Speaking of restaurants and stores... If they wanna close for the day, they just do it.  No sign on the door, no anything.  That's a go-with-the-flow thing.
• When you go to major grocery stores, you gotta carry spare change...cause the baggers (usually elderly folks) only get paid in meager tips.  That's kinda a sad thing.
• Have you ever seen a plant grow like a foot in a week?  Well.  That's a thing.
• Have you ever gone out in the rain, for like 10 seconds and been soaked through to your underwear?  That's a fun thing.  (This one only applies to me, of course, because Ty still has yet to even wear underwear.)
• My glasses get foggy after it rains because of the one million percent humidity.  As a semi-blind person, that's an annoying thing. 
• Did you know you can have sweat dripping from your chin and knees at the same time when you're doing nothing but holding still?  That's a gross thing.  
• Have you ever had to break for an iguana crossing in the middle of town?  That's a cute thing.  
• Also, when you wanna take the "shortcut" to the fish market you gotta make sure to watch out for the 5 foot lizard that lives there.  He moves FAST and will scare the burritos outta you in a jiffy.  There's also a random, un-tethered goat that lives down there and gives us dirty looks when we walk by, but he has yet to charge at us.  Or do whatever it is that wild goats do.  So, that's a good thing. 

I think I'm gonna name him Dragon... 

• When you wanna turn left off a major road...you go to the turn lane on your right.  Makes perfect sense, right?  That's a confusing thing. 
• While driving, "right of way" goes to whichever driver takes it first.  And motorcycles have exactly zero rules whatsoever.  That's a nope thing.
• It's been kinda hard to find shorts and tank tops here.  Apparently gringos are the only ones who think that wearing less clothing means you will be cooler.  Mexicans cover up to stay cool.  (I'm sure they're right in this instance, but Ty really likes to browse the teen boy section for tank tops.  That's a lucky me thing.)   

I'm sure there are a million things I've forgotten, or will think about as soon as I hit "publish", but this post has taken me waaaaayyyy too long, and I wanna go to bed.  Good night! 

Mr. Perfect

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram or have like ever met me even once for like 5 minutes, then there's a good chance that you know I'm a mama to the most perfect, sweetest, cutest, bestest puppy gentleman in the whole entire world named Bloo.  He's a chocolate-colored labradoodle and he's about 7 years old (I think...I adopted him as a stray puppy) and he's been my main man since 2010.  He's been with me through 5 moves including moving to Mexico, he's had a couple different papas, and he is the LOVE OF MY LIFE.  We actually refer to him as "Mr. Perfect" around the house, and he responds.  Because, duh.  

Here is Bloo pretending to be a GQ model on Anderson Island....

The definition of a "fur baby".... I was regularly asked, "Where is his face?" when I let his hair get this long.  But isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?!  Of course he is. 

Anyway... We had our first mini scare this week.  Bloo has had a harmless, benign, fatty cyst about the size of a walnut on the back of his head for over a year and it recently became infected and started oozing and doing gross cyst things.  Let me just interject here for a minute -- wives/mothers are always right!!!  Ty has this really disgusting habit of "popping" Bloo's cyst like a giant zit and our vet back home said it wouldn't hurt him, so he kept popping away...like daily.  (Boys are GROSS.)  I was constantly yelling at him not to do it because A) it's friggin disgusting and B) because I said so.  

When we got here, I specifically told Ty, "Do not pop his cyst anymore.  There are tons of stray dogs and diseases and who knows what kind of bacteria!!!  He doesn't need an open wound on the back of his head at all times.  Just STOP."  Well... Do you think he listened?  Of course not.  

I don't ever look too closely at Bloo's "bump" as we call it, but a few days ago Ty meekly admitted that it's been sorta oozing and leaking the last few days and that he thought it might be infected.  Please insert the biggest "I told you so" wife rant here.  UGGGGH. 

The next day, Ty drove Bloo the couple blocks to the village vet (without an appointment) to have his head looked at.  She instructed him to come back at 4pm and she'd cut out the non-cancerous mass because it was most likely infected and it would just be better to get it out of there.  

Ty took Bloo back that afternoon and the vet gave him what she referred to as "puppy tequila" to sedate and calm him (we were told it's like taking a Valium) and then gave him a local anesthetic before slicing his head open.  Meanwhile, I stayed at home and was being perfectly calm and rational and not thinking of all the worst-case scenarios possible.  I definitely didn't cry and I wasn't even pacing or freaking out or anything.  (Please note as much sarcasm as possible.  I specifically didn't go with Ty, because I knew I would just stress the vet out and probably Bloo too.) 

It took her over an hour to cut out Bloo's cyst because there was so much scar tissue around it.  Hmm, I wonder HOW THAT GOT THERE.  Anyway.... Ty had been gone for about an hour and a half and I was starting to get antsy, so I made the 3 minute walk into town and arrived at the vet just as Ty was about to leave.  Bloo was like a drunk baby....that's the best way to put it.  After lumbering awkwardly out of the vet's office, we had to lift him into the van for the short ride home.  I rode in back with glossy-eyed Bloo and told him that his papa was sooooooooo sorry for doing this to him.  (I was probably being a little passive aggressive and bitter, but....HE IS MY BABY.)   Once we got home, I stupidly tried to help Bloo out of the van (he was like a 100-pound sleeping toddler) and he ended up face-planting into the dirt driveway.  Awesome.  

I, of course, doted on him all night and spent a lot of time sprawled out on the tile floor kissing his puppy face and telling him how brave he is.  That's normal, right?  He was thoroughly annoyed with me, which I took as a good sign that he was feeling okay.  

If that's not a mama's boy I don't know what is... 

The next day, we were doing some yard work around the beachfront casitas and tiny flies were flying around Bloo's stitches (GROSS) and he scratched the back of his head and ripped his stitches open.  Extra awesome.  Again, I remained totally calm and didn't freak out at all.  Oh, wait.... 

We knew the vet was planning on making a house call to check on Bloo (because apparently that's a thing here), so we impatiently waited for her to drop by.  Long story short, Bloo has been re-stitched up (a little sturdier this time) and seems to be doing well.  In fact, I don't think he even knows anything was ever wrong.  He didn't seemed stressed about being cut open and stitched up twice, he's been taking his antibiotics without any trouble and he amazingly doesn't even seem to be in any pain.  (Didn't I mention he was perfect??)  Here's a disgusting pic of his frankenstein head after his second round of stitches....

Side note:  Our vet bill, which included:  initial exam (aka stopping by unannounced), sedation, local anesthetic, hour-long, same-day surgery, antibiotics, a house call and being stitched up a second time = 63 bucks total.  We couldn't even get Bloo groomed back in Seattle for 63 bucks!!!  

Things Ty Hasn't Done Yet

So far, it's just been me babbling on our little Mexico blog (obviously, because it's hilarious and sarcastic and overly-dramatic and directionless.)  But a couple days ago, I asked Ty if he would consider contributing a post to our blog...so all of our followers (our moms) could read about our adventure from his point of view. 

While we were working on one of the casitas this morning (yes, we actually do some work around here...a post on that later) he said he was thinking about writing a post about "the things he hasn't done yet."  Perfecto!  A list of bullet points will fit in perfectly with my other pointless lists of bullet points!  

Obviously, as Editor In Chief of this nonsense blog, I had to edit his submission and add my super helpful two cents (in red.)  Please enjoy Ty's semi-accurate account of his new Mexican life so far: 

30 Things I Haven't Done Since Arriving in Mexico


I haven't.....

1. Stopped sweating (TRUE.) 

2. Put on underwear, socks, shoes, pants, or sleeves...and only sometimes shirts. (I'm sure our maid appreciates the lack of sweaty boy laundry.) 

3. Cut my hair 

4. Stressed out about anything  (Except the WiFi after/during a thunderstorm...the man needs his WiFi!!)

5. Taken a hot shower  (Strangely, I've been taking hot showers like I'm still living in Seattle in the winter.) 

6. Put Bloo on a leash

7. Snuggled with Bloo....or Alissa.  (Like, zero.  We are officially a no-contact household.  Have you ever tried to hug a dolphin?  It's like that.  A big, sweaty, Swedish dolphin.)

8. Regretted the move or been homesick  (I think this requires actually having a heart and/or feelings or caring about anything at all?  But, I'm not sure...since I'm also a robot.) 

9. Set an alarm

10. Turned on the air conditioner

11. Been sarcastic or made fun of Alissa

12. Gone a day without avocado or lime (Aguacate is his new favorite word.)

13. Made much headway on learning Spanish (or like, even tried at all and shoos me away whenever I break out the flashcards.) 

14. Been annoying or rude or cranky

15. Slept through the night without a fan directly on me.  

16. Met a bug I can't catch and squish  (I can't even.  Is it November yet?) 

17. Had to take Alissa to urgent care (Give it time, folks.  I'm using tools and climbing ladders and breaking up dog and iguana fights.  So, duh.)

18. Found my six-pack abs  (Ummm.... No comment?)

19. PLAYED GOLF????  (Couldn't possibly be because his wife wants him to be productive and helpful around the property rather than disappear for a whole day, so definitely not my fault.) 

20. Complained about not playing golf

21. Watched a golf tournament?????  (Oh no!  What a horrible shame!!  *Please note zero sarcasm because watching golf on TV is sooooo much fun and not boring at all.*)
22. He hasn't remembered how to count, apparently, because I just had to go back and add in #22. 

23. Used tabasco  (You can't even buy it in grocery stores here!  Whaaaaa?)

24. Complained about the heat once  (Right.  Not "once"...  JUST EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY AND NIGHT.)

25. Gone to bed before 10:00  (Super weird for Ty, the 39 year-old toddler.)

26. Gotten out of bed before 8:00 (Super weird for me, the 30 year-old senior citizen.) 

27. Gone a day without fresh squeezed juice  (Thanks again, Drew!) 

28. Worried about driving like a Mexican (This is another "nope" for me.) 

29. Been tracking sand in the house or in the bed or on the couch and everywhere else. 

30. Made any friends (What about the 8 year-old boy who runs the beer store around the corner?) 

Oh, great.  While editing this post, Ty found a way to watch his never-ending, year-round, super-interesting and exciting golf tournaments online!  Yippee!!!  

Reverse Sticker Shock

Over the past month, it's been fun to compare prices of everyday items and groceries to what we're used to paying back in Seattle... We went grocery shopping at Mega today, which is about a 15-minute drive from little La Cruz.  It's about the equivalent of Fred Meyer...in addition to food, they sell clothes, toiletries, TVs, household items, school supplies,   

Our fridge was nearly empty, so we ended up filling a whole cart.  Well, Ty filled it...I dinked around and kinda lagged behind and tried not to whine too much.  (I hate shopping and crowds and get bored really easy...and Mr. Chef loooooves to browse, much to my dismay.)

While we were checking out, I happened to look up at the screen and saw that the four large mangos I picked out came to 15.79 MX, which is less than one dollar...which is crazy awesome because my favorite fruit was super expensive back home and I rarely bought them.  That's when I had the thought, "I should post our entire receipt from today."  

So, as soon as we got home I translated our receipt into English, which ended up being a pretty entertaining way to learn a few more Spanish words.  (Did you know the Spanish word for peanut is cacahuate?  Now you do.)  

Click RIGHT HERE to be taken to a Google doc of today's purchases.  I listed the prices in pesos and US dollars.  Amazingly, we spent less than 60 bucks today on what would have probably cost about double back home.  

Fun fact:  We have to soak all of our fruits and vegetables in iodine water when we get home to get rid of any bacteria so we don't get sick.  And then Ty and I play a fun game where I sit on the floor in front of the open fridge and he stands at the sink and tosses citrus fruits at my head.  Today I practiced my one-handed catch with the oranges and pretended I was Doug Baldwin.  Man, we need to find some hobbies. 

Okay... I'm off to see what delicious thing Ty plans on feeding me tonight for dinner.  Adios!