Things Ty Hasn't Done Yet

So far, it's just been me babbling on our little Mexico blog (obviously, because it's hilarious and sarcastic and overly-dramatic and directionless.)  But a couple days ago, I asked Ty if he would consider contributing a post to our blog...so all of our followers (our moms) could read about our adventure from his point of view. 

While we were working on one of the casitas this morning (yes, we actually do some work around here...a post on that later) he said he was thinking about writing a post about "the things he hasn't done yet."  Perfecto!  A list of bullet points will fit in perfectly with my other pointless lists of bullet points!  

Obviously, as Editor In Chief of this nonsense blog, I had to edit his submission and add my super helpful two cents (in red.)  Please enjoy Ty's semi-accurate account of his new Mexican life so far: 

30 Things I Haven't Done Since Arriving in Mexico


I haven't.....

1. Stopped sweating (TRUE.) 

2. Put on underwear, socks, shoes, pants, or sleeves...and only sometimes shirts. (I'm sure our maid appreciates the lack of sweaty boy laundry.) 

3. Cut my hair 

4. Stressed out about anything  (Except the WiFi after/during a thunderstorm...the man needs his WiFi!!)

5. Taken a hot shower  (Strangely, I've been taking hot showers like I'm still living in Seattle in the winter.) 

6. Put Bloo on a leash

7. Snuggled with Bloo....or Alissa.  (Like, zero.  We are officially a no-contact household.  Have you ever tried to hug a dolphin?  It's like that.  A big, sweaty, Swedish dolphin.)

8. Regretted the move or been homesick  (I think this requires actually having a heart and/or feelings or caring about anything at all?  But, I'm not sure...since I'm also a robot.) 

9. Set an alarm

10. Turned on the air conditioner

11. Been sarcastic or made fun of Alissa

12. Gone a day without avocado or lime (Aguacate is his new favorite word.)

13. Made much headway on learning Spanish (or like, even tried at all and shoos me away whenever I break out the flashcards.) 

14. Been annoying or rude or cranky

15. Slept through the night without a fan directly on me.  

16. Met a bug I can't catch and squish  (I can't even.  Is it November yet?) 

17. Had to take Alissa to urgent care (Give it time, folks.  I'm using tools and climbing ladders and breaking up dog and iguana fights.  So, duh.)

18. Found my six-pack abs  (Ummm.... No comment?)

19. PLAYED GOLF????  (Couldn't possibly be because his wife wants him to be productive and helpful around the property rather than disappear for a whole day, so definitely not my fault.) 

20. Complained about not playing golf

21. Watched a golf tournament?????  (Oh no!  What a horrible shame!!  *Please note zero sarcasm because watching golf on TV is sooooo much fun and not boring at all.*)
22. He hasn't remembered how to count, apparently, because I just had to go back and add in #22. 

23. Used tabasco  (You can't even buy it in grocery stores here!  Whaaaaa?)

24. Complained about the heat once  (Right.  Not "once"...  JUST EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY AND NIGHT.)

25. Gone to bed before 10:00  (Super weird for Ty, the 39 year-old toddler.)

26. Gotten out of bed before 8:00 (Super weird for me, the 30 year-old senior citizen.) 

27. Gone a day without fresh squeezed juice  (Thanks again, Drew!) 

28. Worried about driving like a Mexican (This is another "nope" for me.) 

29. Been tracking sand in the house or in the bed or on the couch and everywhere else. 

30. Made any friends (What about the 8 year-old boy who runs the beer store around the corner?) 

Oh, great.  While editing this post, Ty found a way to watch his never-ending, year-round, super-interesting and exciting golf tournaments online!  Yippee!!!