One year later!

Let's get down to the important stuff first.  And by "important" I mean a pic of an iguana who apparently felt the need to cool off in our pool last weekend.  Never a dull moment... 

Today is our official one-year Mexi-versary!!  One year ago today, we had just arrived in little La Cruz after driving 2,800 miles from Seattle in our dorky mini van with our dorky pup.  Amazing.  A whole year!  And we didn't give up and run home despite not having a clue what we were/are doing with our lives!  Go us!  

Annnnd, drum roll, please... We also got our brand, spanking new Temporary Resident Visas renewed today and they're good for three more years!  Whoop!  Well...MY new card was ready to be picked up today, but the immigration office made an error on Ty's because they forgot to include his work permissions on his card, so he'll have to go back next week and blah, blah, blah.  

I was sooooo not looking forward to going back to immigration this month, because the first time around was a huge pain in the booty and like 14 trips to their office in Nuevo.  We had no idea what we were doing, we spoke very little Spanish, we didn't know where anything was (where to get photos taken, copies made, etc.) so there was a LOT of trial and error and messing up forms and being Gringo losers in general.  But THIS year it was a breeeeeeeze!  From start to finish the whole renewal process took like 90 minutes and that's including going to the ATM, to the bank to pay our fees and having copies made and then going back to immigration.  You're probably thinking, "Um, do you wanna a gold star, little girl?"  But, I'm telling you...when you move to a new country and feel like a bubbling, incompetent idiot and you're failing at the most basic adulting skills for several months...it's an amazing feeling when you've finally learned enough about your new country to be slightly less embarrassing!  Yippee!

Side note:  Not that I make it a habit to make this a very helpful expat blog (obviously), but in case you were wondering how the visa process works...You start the process at the Mexican Consulate nearest to you before you move (we/Ty did it in Seattle) and you have to finish the process within 30 days of arriving in the Mexican state you're going to be living in (Nayarit, in our case) and it's good for one year.  When you go to renew it after a year you have the option to renew it for 1, 2, or 3 years...and then after that expires, you can apply for Permanent Residency or Mexican Citizenship (but don't quote me on any of that, Ty, of course, handles all this boring stuff for yours truly, because I can't even.)

Also, before I go ahead and get too high on my "slightly less embarrassing" horse though...I should tell you about our most fish-out-of-water moment that happened this past month, too.  (You're welcome.)  We spend most evenings hanging out in our living room watching TV or on the computer or whatever and we stupidly made the mistake of leaving one of our doors open past dark and a bat flew in our room and was flying all over the place like a plane that lost its rudder (or whatever planes have.)  Oh, have I mentioned we have bats??  There's about a dozen or so that fly around the property at night and eat hundreds my arch enemies (mosquitoes) so, I'm cool with them being around (OUTSIDE, that is.)  

Mind you, this happened a couple weeks before, too, and I remained totally calm about it (and definitely didn't make some crazy Facebook post about hiding under the bed) ...but we didn't learn to close our doors after dark from that little episode, apparently.  

So, the bat flies into our room and we're just staying low and I'm "mildly" freaking out at this point and we're just hoping he flies back out the door.  Well, then I decided it would be a good idea to open ALL of the doors to increase its chances of going outside (which I have to do while crawling around on my hands and knees because I almost got a bat to the face several times.)  And as soon as I get all of the doors open, a second bat swooped in and joined his friend in taking turns dive bombing our heads. Yay!  Picture two helpless dorks crawling around the floor laughing hysterically and repeating "What do we do?!" 

But, wait, there's more!  We actually had guests at the time and they were staying in the unit above us and we didn't want to make noise or let them know we had winged rodents trying to give me nightmares, so we had to handle the whole debacle in whisper-yells and quiet-panicking in between all of the laughing and ducking.  Ahhhh...good times.  

The two bats were swooping around our room and I see one fly into our bathroom and the other one finally flies out the open doors.  I rush to close them so no more get in and Ty goes to work trying to convince the bathroom bat to fly out the back door...and that's when I hear a knock.  It's our guests... They're wondering if we have any good books they can borrow. 

Me:  *instantly panics* "Sure!  C'mon in!  There's a whole bookshelf here, help yourself."
Me to self:  "Please oh please oh please little bat don't come flying out of the bathroom."
Guests:  *thoroughly looking through every single book all super interested like*
Me:  *sweating profusely*
Ty: *still in the bathroom quietly shooing the bat out*

The guests finally leave and Ty gets the bat out without them getting dive-bombed or pooped on -- success!!  

From start to finish the whole bat attack and eviction process was probably like 8 minutes, but it felt like 47.  Needless to say, we're balancing out our living abroad "wins" with plenty of epic fails.  Note to self:  Close the damn door at sunset.  

What else is new with us?  Not much.  We've become pretty low-key and boring the last month or so.  Summers are typically quieter here (listen to me like I actually know what I'm talking about having spent ONE summer here. Nerd.) and I'm actually looking forward to it despite it kinda feeling like a drag last summer.  Restaurants close down, a lot of people go back to the States or Canada until next fall, Jardin is gonna be pretty empty until November (or that's what we keep thinking...but we keep getting last-minute reservations!  Whoop!)  But we're trying to use this "down time" to make more of an effort to not be such lazy degenerates all the time.  It's a lot easier to workout and eat healthy and practice Spanish and spend less money and be productive humans when there's not a party or a band playing or happy hour or beach invite happening every other day.  (I'm sure we have your sympathy, right?  That poor girl is suffering from having TOO much fun!  The horror!!)  

Last weekend we played tourists for the first time in forever, and it was really refreshing to get out of the house to do something other than to go to Costco for toilet paper and laundry detergent.  (I told you we've been boring lately!)  Our car was in the shop for a few days and our kitchen floor was being refinished and it was off-limits for half a day (and you don't wanna see me when I'm hangry!!) so we decided to walk the 45-ish minutes along the beach from Jardin to Bucerias Centro with no real plans.  We walked around town a bunch, ran into a Mexican buddy and hung out with him for a while on the beach, we found this super tasty Thai restaurant for dinner and caught the 10-peso bus home before dark.  It was a fun day.  It reminded me why we fell in love with this area 5 years ago.  Note to self: must do more tourist-ing! 

What else... Oh!  I have officially registered for Spanish school starting in August.  Eeeeeek!  I'm soooo nervous but also so nerdly excited.  I'm going to Habla Hispana in San Miguel de Allende and I mentioned it in one of my last posts.  It's a 4-week immersion course with 80 hours of "intensive Spanish classes" with a small number of students and 24 hours of "cultural activities" like Mexican cooking classes and guided walking tours (also done in Spanish, of course.)  

I'll be in class from 9:00am-1:00pm, Monday through Friday with the activities in the afternoon...evenings and weekends I'll have to myself.  And I'll be staying in a private dorm room at the school for the month... I had the option to bunk with a roommate or two or even stay with a local Mexican family as part of their "homeshare" program, but I feel like I'm already branching waaaaaay out of my comfort zone, so it's probably better to be able to have some time to myself so I can properly freak out when needed.  (Trust me, it'll be needed.)   

We still gotta figure out the logistics of getting to and from San Miguel, but I'm scheduled to arrive August 27th.  That's only 3 months away??  Double eeeek!  For those of you who know just how shell-shocked and anxious and panicky I was last year while trying to adapt to life in a foreign country (and how anti-social I have always been in general) the fact that I'm traveling on my own to a place I've never been without my 6'-3" Swedish security blanket to hold my hand and do all of the adulting for me... It's insane!!  

Welp, it's passed my bedtime.... Buenas noches, mis amigos!  

Spanglish Part 2

I wanna be fluent in Spanish sooooo badly.  You have no idea.  (Okay, if you're also an expat or a snowbird and buying groceries or filling up your gas tank turns into a fumbly Spanglish mess, like, every single time...then maybe you do.)

I know I'm getting better at speaking it, and I'm actually able to string together entire sentences now without having to look up certain words (I always go back and look up what I said later to make sure I didn't say something totally embarrassingly wrong...and to also brag to Ty about how much more awesome I am than he is, duh.)  But the big thing I'm feeling excited about:  I'm getting a little better at understanding when our housekeeper or another native speaker is speaking to me.  Which is the most common complaint I hear from fellow gringos... "People just speak so fast!  I don't know what they're saying!"  

It's true.  Even if you can say a full sentence to someone or ask them a question...you still have to know what the hell they're saying back to you.  And more often than not, you won't follow...especially if you consider different accents, mumbling and slang words.  (Think about how we say "gonna" for "going to"...for sure Mexicans have similar abbreviations that aren't technically correct.)  And actually, if you say something in Spanish to someone pretty well, they'll assume you can also understand them pretty well and they'll rattle off their response.  So, I can study all I want...but if I can't learn to comprehend what is being said to me, my "skills" aren't gonna get me very far.  I naively thought I would be further along one year in because I have a crazy good memory and that that would be enough ("I'll just memorize every word!")  But, I forgot about that whole "comprehension" aspect of learning a new language.  Whoops.  

I'm not in the business of being a "helpful expat blogger" all too often because it's more fun (for me) being a pointless one, but while we're on the subject of responding to someone you don't understand (a.k.a. Gringo in Headlight Syndrome) let's cover a couple things our Spanish teacher taught us over the winter that I wish I had known months earlier:  (Thanks, Sean!!) 

• "Mande?" (pronounced MAHN-DAY) comes from the verb mandar (to send) and it loosely means "send it to me again"...it's like the English equivalent of saying "Come again?"  We learned in our class that saying "Que?" (What?) to someone when you didn't hear them, can come off rude or defensive... It'd be like saying, "What did you say to me?"  "Mande?" is a more polite version of "I didn't hear you...can you repeat that?"  We had never heard this word before, but as soon as we were taught it, we heard it everywhere.  I now say this several times a day...if only to buy myself a little time to figure out what the crap someone is saying to me.  
• "Repite, por favor" (pronounced RAY-PEE-TAY) is similar to "mande" in that you need them to repeat what they said...but if the speed they're talking is the issue say, "repite más despacio, por favor" (DAY-SPAH-SEE-OH) which just means "Please repeat slower."
• "No entiendo" (AYN-TEE-AYN-DOH) means "I don't understand."  I typically only use this one when I don't have the slightest clue as to what someone is saying to me (and if I have to resort to this one, I'm pretty bummed about not being able to communicate at all because this is usually where the conversation ends and the other person seems frustrated that I don't understand them.)  A lot of non-Spanish speakers like to use "no comprendo" (I don't comprehend) but this seems a little more casual to me since "comprehend" isn't usually a word I use too often in English. 

Unfortunately, I have to use all of these phrases much more often than I would like to, but hey... I'm trying.  Once our schedules open back up next week, I'm going to get better about studying Spanish everyday.  Mostly because I need/want to learn more, but also, if I don't find some hobbies to fill my time during low season I'm going to drive Ty INSANE whining about being bored all the time.  I have a big, giant, nerdy, college workbook that I bought on Amazon before we left the states, and my goal is to complete 10 pages per week this summer.  I'm currently on page 56 and there are 505 pages...so, I should be done in a like a million years.  Swell.  

It's funny (a.k.a. embarrassing and cringe-worthy) to think back how BAAAAD we were at Spanish when we arrived in La Cruz nearly a year ago, but I'm glad we waited 5 months after moving here to start classes because I was able to pick up on how the locals spoke certain words first...noticing differences between regional dialect and whatever my Google Translate app was telling me.  

You know how like in the States some people call soda "pop" or even "soft drinks" because that's how it's said locally and they just grew up saying it that way?  (Look at this crazy graphic I found on this exact topic...someone had waaaaay too much time on their hands.)  Or like how Canadians and Europeans say "going on holiday" and Americans say "going on vacation" but they both mean the same thing?  Sometimes I'd look up how to say a word and it was different than what I had heard locals say.  For example, all of our Mexican friends say "carro" and not "coche" for car, even though both are correct, but I choose to say "carro" now too because it's more commonly used in our area. 

And I'll never forget when I tried to say "piscina" for swimming pool to the groundskeeper and he looked at me like I was Dingbat Barbie speaking Chinese.  He's lived in the Bay Area his whole life and he didn't even know that "albercas" were ever called anything but "albercas."  But of course, this nuance, just overwhelms me even more...because not only do I need to learn Spanish, but now I gotta know the local dialect?!  Balls.  

   

Overall, we're (I'm) slowly but steadily improving at communicating and I'm exciting about getting better and better over time.... We have to go into Immigration next week to start the process of renewing our temporary resident visas for another 3 years (don't cry, mom!!) and at least Ty will have improved his Spanish enough since the last time we were there a year ago when he said to the security guard, "I made a mistake-o."  I'm not even joking.  And yes, I still make fun of him for it.

Oh, yeah!!  I almost forgot the entire inspiration for this (pointless) post!  A couple weeks ago I ran into a woman I had gone to class with for six weeks last fall and we talked (whined) about the process of learning Spanish, and how we were both coming along, etc. and she told me about this little school called Habla Hispana she went to last year in the super cute colonial town of San Miguel de Allende in the state of Guanajauto...which is about 8 hours east from us.  The school offers 4-week courses where you're attending classes from 9:00-1:00pm Monday through Friday and in the afternoons there are optional activities (all done in Spanish, of course) like walking tours, Mexican cooking classes, etc.  You even have the option of renting a small "dorm room" on the school grounds during your course.  As a giant nerd (and someone who wishes they could be a professional student) this has me all kinds of excited.  The idea of spending 4+ hours a day in a classroom studying something that really interests me...is like...Christmas to normal people.  It's okay to be jealous of my dorky prowess.  

I'm considering going for the month of September or October...but the only downside is that someone will need to stay at Jardin (especially if we have renters) which means I would most likely be going alone.  Say what????  Since Ty and I are super duper best friends and attached at the hip...the idea of being away from him and our perfect pup for a whole month makes my head a bit woozy, so I would definitely have to put on my big girl pants and be a brave little engine that could-ish.  

Ty, however, is probably thrilled at the idea of me being gone for a while, because he likes to pretend I'm clingy and annoying.  Which is, of course, completely "FAKE NEWS."  Duh.  I was also thinking it would be fun for us to take a road trip there a few days before my classes start to explore the town and for him to drop me off at school (how adorable is that?)...but we'll see.  

Also, if you'd like to read all the ways I've embarrassed myself while misunderstanding someone speak Spanish to me...you'll enjoy this post.  

Welp, I've bored you enough for one day, so I'm off!  

Why did we bring that?

When we sold off our house, cars and 95% of our possessions in the Spring of 2016 it was difficult to decide what we should take to Mexico with us... It was pretty much a guessing game as far as knowing what we would need and what we could or couldn't buy here... It was also super difficult sorting through what we actually needed to keep, and what we wanted to keep...but that's a whole other issue.  

We stored a few things with Ty's parents (photos, my paintings, yearbooks, etc.) but everything else that didn't fit in the mini van, we sold, donated or gave away.  We didn't even have a car top carrier on our drive south because we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves as "tourists" driving through Mexico.

Here's a picture of the very BEST thing we brought to Mexico.... 

Stuff I wish we had kept:

• a cooler - we sold all of our camping gear, but why wouldn't we have kept a cooler when moving to a hot climate?  Dumb-dumbs.
• More of my tools - I kept a few small hand tools and my cordless drill, but there were many times while we were working on remodeling projects last summer that I wished I had kept more of them.  
• Our collection of pool floaties/innertubes - our house was on a river when we lived in Seattle and we were big fans of lazily floating down it for a couple hours and ending in our backyard.  We stupidly got rid of them even though pools are common here and we live at the beach.  Dumb.  And annoyingly/ironically, quality pool loungers were hard to find here.  (I'm sure we have your sympathy, right?)

Stuff we should have brought but didn't know we would need it (a.k.a. "stuff I'm going to buy when we go home in July"):

• Gringo taco seasoning - You know that pre-mixed, orange-colored taco seasoning you can buy at any grocery store in the states?  You can't buy it in Mexico.  Go figure.  
• American brand hairspray - Seriously, what is up with Mexican hairspray brands??  I feel like I'm just spraying aerosol air freshener at my head because it doesn't actually "hold" anything and it smells like flowers.  Dumb.  
• Bug repellent that actually works and isn't full of cancer chemicals (Thanks again, Aunt Pam!!) 
• A backup iPhone charger.  Or two or three.  I've gone through at least 4-5 chargers in the past year.  It's hard/impossible to find legit Apple products here, and the knockoff chargers either don't work at ALL, or they last a couple weeks before they fizzle out. 

Things we brought with us that we shouldn't have:

• Our Cornhole boards - Cornhole is a yard/beach game (usually played with a beer in hand)...it's pretty much just bean bag toss with more specific (and entertaining) scoring rules.  Even though it's brought us hours and hours of silly fun over the last few years and I thought we'd whip it out at every beach party or barbecue here...it's gotten used twice in 11 months.  But more importantly...I wish we would have left it at Ty's family cabin on Anderson Island in Washington, because now we can't play it THERE in the summers.  What was I thinking?!  
• 10 sets of golf clubs - okay, so it's "only" like 5 or 6 sets, but still!  Our van was like half golf clubs when we packed it up.  Ty had originally wanted/planned to start some sort of golf concierge business down here, so he bought up a bunch of used clubs before we left... Turns out the local courses don't want or need his services and they basically told him to go pound sand.  So now our closet is mostly golf clubs with a little bit of clothes mixed in.  It's come in handy when we've had friends or family come visit who've wanted to golf with Ty, but the other 360 days per year, they're just space suckers.
• Salad spinner - I've had the same (nice, stainless steel, Crate & Barrel) salad spinner for like the last 12 years and I've used it maybe 5 times ever...and for some reason we lugged it thousands of miles despite it's main purpose having been dust-collection over the years.  Why?  Because for sure we would have to wash our lettuce and veggies more than we do in the states!  Because, germs!  We haven't used it once.  Anyone want it? 
• Shoes - why did I bring so many pairs of shoes?  I just counted:  5 pairs of Nike running shoes, 1 pair of Vans, 10 pairs of sandals/flip flops, and 3 pairs of loafers/slip-ons.  Most of them I haven't even so much as looked at, let alone worn.  I literally wear the same flip flops every day until the soles are paper thin and the straps break.  And then I staple gun the straps and wear them a few more weeks.  And then I super glue the straps when they inevitably re-break.  And then I wait several more weeks before sadly admitting that they're garbage and I need to just throw them away.  
• DVDs - against my wishes, we brought a big box of our favorite movies even though we never watched them before we moved. (That's because it's 2017 and we watch Netflix like normal people, duh.)  But we brought them with us anyway and they sat in the box untouched until we dropped them off at the little video rental store in La Cruz when we moved into Jardin.  
• Winter-ish clothes - yes, it can get a bit "chilly" in the early mornings in December and January and when we visited Guadalajara last year I wished I had a jacket with me, but we brought one of those big, blue IKEA bags (you know the ones) stuffed full of warmer clothes, for some dumb reason.  I've worn a couple things (you can't separate a Pacific Northwest girl from her favorite hoodie forever!) but Ty hasn't so much as even looked at winter crap he packed.
• Ty's underwear - he's worn underwear exactly twice in 11 months...once to a Catholic confirmation and once to a wake.  Apparently he thinks wearing boxer briefs is a sign of respect.  The rest of us losers he doesn't care about just get to see his ever-present butt crack hanging out.  (Because he also refuses to wear belts.)  
• I just asked Ty if he could think of anything we should have left in the states and he said, "Yeah, you!"  Whadda jerk.  

Welp, we have new guests arriving any minute, so I'm off! 

We're still alive...

I have nothing to write about anymore.  We haven't been going on awkward, hilarious, embarrassing Mexican adventures since we started working/living at Jardin, so I don't have any new material to entertain you with.  So...I'll just bore you all with a generic update of our lives.  Lucky you. 

I cannot believe it's almost May.  May 15th marks ONE WHOLE YEAR since driving away from Seattle in our dorky mini van with our dorky pup and trekking the 2,800 miles to La Cruz.  I can't friggen believe it's been that long already.  It's gone by so fast because time and seasons and months just all kinda blend in together and become a big, hot, sunny blur here... 

I usually mask my feelings with sarcasm and smart-assery (who, me??) but the first several months in Mexico were actually really hard on me... Moving is stressful enough, but throw in a new language, new culture, new currency, new climate, new everything....and it can create one little, anxiety-filled, homesick turtle.  (That was me last summer.)  But I can honestly say that I don't regret moving here...and I'm pretty happy now, in general.  I'm getting better at speaking and understanding Spanish (notice I didn't say "we"), I'm not afraid of driving like a Mexican anymore, I haven't had to (ask Ty to) evict any giant spiders lately, we've made a lot of friends and met tons of cool people, we've finally adapted to the heat enough that we can exercise regularly and not DIE, Bloo and Luna are the happiest nerds you ever did see...and our new gig as property managers at Jardin del Mar couldn't be going smoother.  

Things have been going really well at Jardin since we took over the business/property in December.  For reopening the hotel as late as we did in high season, we're happy with the amount of bookings we've been able to generate so far.  April has been our busiest month to date, with 26 people checking in or out!  And we already have several bookings for next winter/spring, so we're feeling optimistic about this gig being something we can enjoy doing for a while.  And, duh, we get to live HERE.  So, life definitely does not suck south of the border... 

It's funny...whenever we're doing like the least worky-things, we get the best reservations.  The last time we were shoving pizza in our faces on the way home from the hot springs, we got a reservation for 13 people who rented out the entire Estate for the week of Christmas.  While we were out kayaking once, we came back to a 6-week reservation for February/March, and then we got another month-long reservation while having dinner at a friend's... It's like as soon as we give ourselves a break and get out of the house, my phone buzzes with a reservation notification.  So, that means we should just be kicking our feet up all the time, right???  I can get behind that logic. 

We have our last round of guests this week, checking out next Monday, and then we have zero bookings for six straight weeks...and to be honest, I'm looking forward to the break.  Our guests have all been totally awesome and fun to host, but our living quarters are essentially split in half by the "hotel lobby"....a big courtyard that guests use to come and go out the front door, walking by our bedroom on one side and our kitchen on the other. 

It's a really weird thing to have to get used to always having people around "your house."  Between having 1-4 staff members here every day (gardener, housekeeper, pool guy and maintenance guy) and guests coming and going at all hours, we're very rarely "home alone."  (Marco even comes in on Sundays for a couple hours when we have guests, despite me insisting that he works too damn much.)

I wake up to the sound of Marco sweeping the lobby or watering flowers (or the damn bird squawking his head off at sunrise every single morning... Oh, did I mention we got a parrot?  Did I mention I hate him?) ...and I'm pretty sure Marco has seen me with sleepy bed head schlepping my way to the kitchen for coffee in my pajamas waaaaaaay more often than he's seen me put together early in the morning.  Poor man. 

Meet Macho... Don't be fooled by his cuteness, he's evil.  

It's the only down side to living at a "hotel"... I miss the feeling of home being the place where you're most relaxed and unapologetically yourself.  Where you can rock the same pair of paint-stained sweats all weekend and binge on Netflix.  Where you don't have to put pants on as soon as you get out of bed because the pool boy has a habit of walking right past your open bedroom windows.  Where you don't have to be "on" all the time.  Where you don't feel obligated to wash the dishes right away because the housekeeper will see how big of a slob you really are.  (I'm sure you feel really sorry for us, right?  Yeah, I thought so...)

This past Sunday was the first time in months that we've had the place to ourselves, so instead of staying indoors on our laptops as per usual, I forced us outside and we spent the afternoon goofing off in the pool and listening to music.  It was fabulous.  

I'm looking forward to low season, but I am NOT looking forward to another Mexican summer.  When I think about the humidity and the never-ending sweat and the torrential downpours and being unable to sleep and the blasted mosquitoes, I feel my blood pressure start to rise.  So, if we could just fast forward from June to October that would be grrreeeeeat.  

We're headed up to the states to visit friends and family in Portland and Seattle for a few weeks in late July (and to see Bruno Mars in concert for my birthday... NBD) so that'll be a nice break from the thunderstorms.  However, Bloo has to stay here (because he's too friggen big and no airline will take him) and I regularly lose sleep over the thought of being away from him for that long and whether he'll get any snuggles from the staff (he won't) or if he's gonna be sleeping outside at night (he will be) or if he'll get fed on his usual schedule (I'm not counting on it)... So, aside from constantly worrying about being away from my perfect angel boy, I'm looking forward to going home in a few months.  

We had originally planned to stay in Seattle for two whole months this summer just because it's so miserable here, but once we found out that it would be a huge pain to get Bloo there and back, we shortened our trip to 3 weeks.  We're flying into Portland, taking the train to Seattle, driving to Vancouver, B.C., spending back-to-back weekends on Anderson Island and then flying back to Puerto Vallarta out of Seattle the first week of August.  It's going to be a crazy busy trip!!!    

Welp, I should probably go do something with my bed head before our guests are up and about, so....hasta pronto y tenga un buen dia!  

40 Reasons I Love Ty

WARNING:  This post has nothing to do with living abroad...and everything to do with embarrassing my husband on his 40th birthday.  

Ty hates presents, birthday parties, people wishing him happy birthday on Facebook and just anyone making a fuss over his birthday in general because he doesn't like the attention...so I, of course, took him out for a fance sushi dinner in Punta de Mita, bought him a bottle of expensive tequila during a day trip to San Sebastian, asked his cousins, brother and friends to fly to Puerto Vallarta to spend an entire week celebrating his 40th...and now I'm writing this blog post as a personal gift from me (in lieu of one of my signature homemade birthday cards) because as Ty's wife, it is my DUTY (and privilege) to embarrass and annoy him as much as humanely possible...and I take my wifely duties very seriously.  

Ty's 36th birthday in 2013... Our first vacation together and our first time to La Cruz!  

So, in honor of Ty's 40th birthday... I present the 40 things I love most about my husband.  Please read them and enjoy the fact that he is going to KILL me for this:

1. I love his laugh. The sound of Ty laughing is my favorite sound in the entire world.  It makes my insides smile.  It's even better when I'm the one who made him laugh.  (Which is like every day, because I'm hilarious.  Duh.)
2. He's super cute.  I love his blonde hair and blue eyes and contagious smile.  He's like my own Swedish Ken Doll... (That is if Ken had freakishly short T-rex arms and freakishly long toes.) 
3. I also love that he's tall (6'-3")...because I can play the "short person card" when I'm feeling too lazy to do something.  (It's amazing how many things I can get out of by claiming I need a tall person to help me.)  It also makes him easier to spot in a crowd...or in the grocery store when I get lost (aka: distracted by the flip flop aisle.)
4. He's always fun, carefree and happy.  Everything just rolls off his shoulders... (If Ty is angry or upset about something then it's you know it's serious!!)  
5. He's sweet to me when it matters.  Like...when I'm sad or stressed or anxious or grumpy or hungry or thirsty or cranky (so, like when I'm awake, basically.)  
6. He holds my hand and protects me from all the big, scary things in the world.  (Like adulting.  And Costco.)  
7. He has made me laugh out loud all 3,923 days that I've known him.  (Yes, I did the math.) 
8. He's the second funniest person I've ever met.  (Guess who's first...)
9. He's helpful around the house and actually picks up after himself!  He also does like 95% of the grocery shopping, cooking and dishes in our relationship. (Our housekeeper does the other 5% of the dishes, because I'm allergic to dishes...and laundry.)
10. He's an awesome cook.  Delicious food just like magically appears in front of my face everyday. 
11. He lets me "smuggle" (snuggle + smother) on him every day even though he "claims" he doesn't like it.  (The truth is... even though he's the Jolly Gringo Giant, he likes to be the little spoon while we sleep.  He is soooo gonna kill me.) 
12. He's the best bug-squisher I ever met and he never makes me do any gross, critter-related, or dog poop-related things.  Because I'm a classy lady!  (Oh, wait...)
13. He's a good papa to Bloo.  I'm pretty sure he loves him more than me (he definitely kisses him more than me!) but I'm okay with it...because have you met Bloo??  He's perfect.
14. He's respectful, friendly and non-judgmental to everyone he meets.  I've never seen him be intentionally rude, hurtful or act "better" than anyone in the 11 years I've known him.  He makes me wanna be a nicer person.  (But then I remember that people are the worst, and I am the Grinch, so why bother...) 
15. He's goofy.  At least once a day, he'll stop whatever he's doing and start dancing like a silly idiot around the house, complete with butt swinging and hula girl arm motions for the sole purpose of making me laugh.  There's also never music playing when this happens, by the way.  (I've tried to record him tons of times, but that usually just ends in him chasing me around and me shrieking and trying to keep my phone away from him while I'm hyperventilating from laughing too hard.)
16. We have the same sense of humor.  Since becoming (a couple of identically sarcastic, smartass) friends more than a decade ago, we've amassed like 487 inside jokes in that time and every single joke is still hilarious as the first time we said it.  (I'm sure if someone listened to us talk when it's just the two of us, they wouldn't be able to follow our conversation because it would sound like utter nonsense.) 
17. He's always himself.  There is no "fake" or altered version of his personality depending on who he's with... He's always genuine, happy Ty.  And if you have yet to see him dance, then you have yet to see the happiest version of Ty!!  (Please note I did not say the most flattering version...)
18. He's a good son.  He calls his parents once a week to fill them in on our new lives and they talk for at least a half an hour... This isn't because of moving to Mexico either, he used to do the same thing when his parents lived 30 minutes away too. 
19. He is my best friend...and he's the best friend I've ever had.  And I'm not talking about that cheesy "I'm marrying my best friend!" line newly-engaged couples like to throw around on Facebook after knowing each other for like a year.  Like...we are literally best friends first, partners second.  We're inseparable.  And we're pretty much the same person.  (This is most likely due to the fact that we both have the maturity level of 19 year-old boys who were left home alone for the weekend.) 
20. He's supportive of everything I wanna do regardless of what it is, and regularly tells me, "I'm only happy when you're happy."  I could tell him I wanna become a trapeze artist and he would (pay someone to) build me a trapeze thingy and buy me some leotards.  
21. He's patient and calm.  Even though I give him plenty of bratty, whiney, selfish, obnoxious reasons to, he never gets angry or raises his voice at me.  (Unless I go over my data usage for the month, thennnnn I'm in trouble!)   
22. He compliments me every day.  Even at times I KNOW I do NOT look anything close to cute, he tells me I am.  And he compliments me on my wicked bed head every morning.  Like, the messier it is, the more compliments I can expect to get.  Even when I look and feel my worst or ugliest or fattest, he still looks at me like he won the lottery, for some reason.  (I don't get it, but I love it!) 
23. He thanks me every day.  Whether I cleaned our room or updated our websites or emailed guests or fed the pups or cut his hair or shared my food with him...there's always a "Thanks, Friend" in it for me.
24. I love all of his "terms of endearment."  He has about 20 nicknames for me and it feels super weird when he actually calls me by my real name which is exactly never (or only when he wants me to say, "Ewwww!  Don't call me that!")  Some of the names I've collected over the years are:  Pain in the Alissa, Monster, Pretty Girl, Babe, Little Tree, Little Lady, Little Friend, Little Turtle, Bess Fren, Amiguita, Bummaloons, Jerk Store (don't ask) and Arissa-Roo....most of them coming from inside jokes, of course. 
25. He's humble.  You'll never ever hear him bragging about himself or his skills or his accomplishments (that's my job, obviously!)     
26. He's hard-working.  (Well... He USED to be hard-working.  Now he's a greasy beach bum.)
27. He's honest.  (Like, if I have an unsightly zit on my face, he will totally point it out.)
28. He's a minimalist.  He'll never be impressed by a big house or fancy car.  He doesn't like "things" or "stuff" or clutter (except unless those "things" are golf clubs, of course.) 
29. I never want to be away from him.  We've spent like 94% of our time together over the last 10 months, and I still miss him when he has appointments or errands to run.  (I....on the other hand....annoy the hell outta him at least half a dozen times a day by smothering him with constant attention and affection, because I basically behave like a 4-year old who just got a brand new puppy for Christmas when it comes to him.  But I'm okay with it.)
30. He makes every day fun.  Even when we're doing nothing, we're having fun doing it.  
31. We're on the same page like 92.5% of the time.  We have the same opinions on everything important, we think the same way, we want the same things, we like and dislike the same things... (Except for exercising.  Getting that boy to workout with me is like asking a vegan to fry me up some bacon.)  
32. We balance each other out.  He's good at things I'm not good at and vice versa, and we both know our roles and tasks in our relationship without even having to discuss them. (Like he's good at dealing with people in real life and I'm good at cracking jokes behind a computer screen.) 
33. He spoils me.  After mentioning how fun it would be to see Bruno Mars in concert this summer, I woke up to Ticketmaster confirmations and swanky hotel reservations for my birthday in July.  (I might have sent him links to very specific websites and laid on some funny, cute girl charm via email, but still.)  
34. He's a problem-solver and good communicator.  (Like, he says... "Here.  Fix this!  And then I fix the problem.) 
35. He's forgiving.  He doesn't hold grudges or hide his feelings.  If I mess up (which, of course, is suuuuuper rare) there are never any leftover feelings of bitterness or resentment.  (Again...unless it's data usage-related.) 
36. He's selfless.  Even though he doesn't even drink coffee anymore, he gets up before me every morning and makes freshly-ground coffee so it's ready for me by the time I get my lazy bum outta bed.  He usually follows that up with feeding the dogs and washing the dishes and making me breakfast.  (Spoiled rotten, I tell you!!)
37. He's smart.  (He married me, so duh.) 
38. He's talented.  (He scored me, so duh.) 
39. He has good taste.  (He chose me, so duh.) 
40. And the 40th thing I love about Ty... is that I wish he was turning 80 today so I could keep bragging about how incredibly awesome he is and how lucky I am to call him all mine!!! 

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, BABES!!  Please don't kill me...

Spanglish

As you can imagine... learning a new language has been a frustrating (yet entertaining) aspect of moving to a new country.  Ty took Spanish in both high school and college...and I took the more useful approach to life by taking French and studying American Sign Language on my own for "fun."  (What was I thinking?!)  So, up until a year or so ago I had very little Spanish speaking skills...I couldn't even say "my name is Alissa."    

Every time we've vacationed in Mexico, Ty would always do all the (very basic) communicating at restaurants and tiendas or on the bus...and I remember being impressed by his "skills."  Funny to think about now since I'm the more fluent one...(on account of me being a giant nerd and studying like it's my job and Ty whining at me every time I ask him to practice with me.) 

Before we left the states, in an attempt to prepare for our move, we signed up for a beginner Spanish class at the community college near our house...and it was a total waste of money.  It was a 2-hour class, once per week for 6 weeks.  Unfortunately for us, the instructor seemed more interested in impressing the class with his 3-piece suits, silk shirts and pseudo swagger than actually teaching us anything useful.  Also, he didn't know how to use a computer (or didn't want to) so all of our "handouts" were photocopies of sloppily handwritten "documents."  Um, what?  The other downside was that it was only a "community education" course... meaning no grades, no tests, no homework.  And considering we were both still working 60-hours per week back then, that meant no motivation on our part to do much more than show up.  

The one and ONLY takeaway I got from that class has been a useful one, however... he drilled this into our brains during every class and I still think these to myself several times a day when trying to pronounce a word (same is true in reverse...I use these to spell a word based on someone else's pronunciation too): 

• A = is always pronounced "AH"
• E = is always pronounced "AY" (or "EH" for my Canadian friends!!) 
• I = is always pronounced "EE"
• O = is always pronounced "OH"
• U = is always pronounced "OO" 

Of course, there are other variations... Like when certain vowels are paired together in a word and other things, but I'm no Spanish teacher and I'm not gonna get into all of that.  But if you're trying to speak Spanish and you consider these your "vowel rules" you'll succeed more often than not when it comes to pronunciation.  

So, let's say the word you're trying to pronounce is "esconder" (to hide.)  If you're an English-speaker, at first glance you probably want to pronounce it "ess-con-dur"...but if you use the "vowel rules" you'd pronounce it "ace-cone-dare."  I see fellow expats struggle with the vowels more than anything else, so maybe this will help some of them!  I get complimented on my Spanish all the time, but little do people know I'm over there reading a menu and thinking to myself, "I is always EE...E is always AY" before I even open my mouth to speak to a server.  Obviously, it becomes more natural as you learn more and more words...

Learning a new language has also given me mad respect for anyone who's ever had to learn English!  Because dayyyum!  How do you explain to someone that "threw" and "through" are pronounced the same but mean different things?  What about "wood" and "would?"  At least Spanish follows a consistent set of pronunciation rules!  They don't just go adding in random silent letters that serve no purpose.  (Yes, the letter H is silent, but still...) Someone trying to learn English can't just sound out every word like I can while speaking Spanish...  I have to recite these "vowel rules" to myself nearly every time I read aloud, but at least I have a set of rules to follow!  

Okay... enough nerdy stuff.  What you really want to know is how many times I've embarrassed myself while trying to navigate a new language.  Which is like, daily.  

When you're not fluent in a language and a native speaker is talking to you... You only hear the words you know and the rest is lost within seconds.  So, someone may say an entire sentence to you and you may only catch one or two words before staring at them like a gringo in headlights...OR you might take those two words you think you heard and make huge assumptions about what they were saying.  Like moi.  

Several months ago I was attempting to chat with a Mexican guy we had just met (who is now one of our buddies, because the locals are the funnest, duh) and we were all standing around a truck bed and drinking Pacifico and complaining about the mosquitoes (because there's not much else to do in the summer here)...and he rattled something off to me.  I only heard the words "gusta" and "cabello" and I had learned just enough Spanish to know that meant "like" and "hair" and since I had just gone to the salon that day, I THOUGHT he was complimenting me on my hair.  I blushed and smiled and started combing my fingers through my freshly-primped locks and said "Oh, gracias!" like a freaking moron.  

Turns out he was a life-long rancher and was asking me if I like horses.  (Te gustan los caballos?)  He, of course, looked at me like I was insane...since I was stroking my own hair and whatnot.  Fail.  

Words that are super similar are a recipe for disaster when you're learning a new language because it's hard to hear their subtle differences.  If you're trying to ask someone if they're hungry (Usted tiene hambre?) make sure you don't accidentally say "Usted tiene hombre?  Because then you'll be asking them if they have a man, instead of hunger.  And if you're asking the previously-mentioned rancher if he has a man, you might get a wide-eyed stare in response.  

Another tip I learned the hard way... When you're ordering tacos and you want to specify flour instead of corn tortillas...make sure you pronounce harina (flour) as "ah-REEN-ah" and not "ah-REYN-ah" because that's the way "arena" is pronounced and it means sand.  And if you tell your server you want some sandy tacos, she's gonna giggle at you.  

Another case of mistaken word identity was in our first month here and someone was talking to me in Spanish... I, of course, musta looked like a chimp on benadryl as I blankly stared at him, until I caught one word I knew... "perro."  

• Me to self:  "Oh, perro means dog!  He's asking about Bloo!"
• Also me:  *Smiles and pets Bloo and tells the man his name*
• Still me:  *Starting to wonder why he's looking at me like that and not petting Bloo*
• And then me:  "I don't think he's talking about dogs." 

That's the day I learned that the word for "but" is "pero" with one R and it sounds an awfully lot like "perro" to a gringo who can't roll her double R's.  Another fail.  

My many, MANY blunders aside... I've come a very long way in the 9 months we've been here thanks to lots of studying, charade-playing, patient/helpful locals, 12 weeks of Spanish classes, and making a fool out of myself on a daily basis while trying my best to speak the native language.  But I live in Mexico, so I'm gonna do my damnedest to speak Spanish!

Adios, mis amigos!  Necesito desayunar, nadar y tomar una siesta. La vida es dura!

Expectations vs. Reality

When we (Ty) decided we were moving to Mexico in an effort to live happier and simpler lives... a lot went through my mind, of course.  I felt every emotion imaginable, some good, some bad and some downright terrifying... But even though I was nervous to make such a drastic change and leave everything I know and love behind, it was still really fun to daydream about what our new exotic, daring, adventurous, fulfilling life would be like... 

You know that feeling when you live in a big, cold city and you have to wake up super early every morning and scramble to get ready, drive to work in dark, rainy traffic, work long hours...then drive home in the dark only to eat dinner and go to bed so you can do it all over the next day?  (I'm talking to all my Portland and Seattle workaholics!)  You rush around all week at work and home and out and about and you never feel like there are enough hours in a day...your mental to-do list never gets any shorter...and then the weekend finally arrives and you think, "I'm gonna be so productive this weekend and get so much accomplished!"  But really, you're just too tired and as soon as you walk in the door all you wanna do is chill with your pup on the couch and catch up on your Netflix queue.  

On Saturday morning, you think of the stuff you should be doing...laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, errands...but instead you keep saying, "Just one more episode."  And then it's suddenly 4:00pm and your biggest accomplishment for the day was brushing your teeth; and now you have to start getting ready for your friend's baby shower or birthday party or whatever you agreed to attend that weekend, and you think, "I'll just wake up really early tomorrow and do chores all day.  It's going to be great!"  But of course, that doesn't happen because you stayed out too late, you slept in too long and the only thing you felt like doing when you finally peeled yourself out of bed was sitting on the couch nursing a cup of coffee and telling your family to keep it down.  

Three o'clock on Sunday afternoon rolls around and you're still in your pajamas, but at this point you realize there's no reason to change outta them...it's like waiting until September to take your Christmas lights down....might as well keep them up at this point.  You waste the day couch surfing with your pup and your guy while pushing the laundry to the back of your mind.  You start bartering with yourself about how it can wait "one more day" or "I'll just go grocery shopping after work tomorrow."  You go to bed on Sunday night, already dreading waking up at 4:30am on Monday morning and kicking yourself for not accomplishing anything...wondering how in the hell the weekend went by so fast.  

Monday morning comes...you hit snooze on your alarm clock 3 times instead of just getting up when you're supposed to, which means you then have to move through the house like a tornado to get out the door on time.  But of course, there isn't any clean laundry so you're stuck wearing those pants that fit you weird, and there's no food in the fridge so you have to grab a protein bar and an old apple for lunch.  You leave the house in a flustered rush...and you start yet another week off in a stressful state of panic.  Heaven forbid your windshield needs scraping because you don't have one extra minute to spare.  And the cycle continues.  For years.  

When you have downtime at work, you like to scroll ahead in your calendar and see when the next Federal Holiday is and drool over the thought of a 3-day weekend...and think about how productive you're going to be then!  ("I'm going to start my Labor Day to-do list right now!")  And you like to fantasize about how amazing it would be to have an ENTIRE week off from work just so you can stay home and organize closets, paint over those scuff marks that annoy you every time you walk by, finally weed those overgrown flower beds, finish that book you started two months ago, deep clean your house and take a bunch of junk to Goodwill.  Sound familiar?  (If it doesn't, you're my hero and you rock at life and I envy you.  Either that or you're a man.) 

This was my pre-Mexico life.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my job, but I worked a LOT of hours and it required a ton of energy...both mentally and physically.  My time got divided by hundreds of people per week...none of which were me.  I was always daydreaming about having time to do selfish things....like squeeze in a workout...or get a haircut.  I was so tired of being tired.  So...when Ty injected the idea of "early retirement" into my brain, I could think of nothing except how productive and fulfilled I'd get to be!  No more pushing my hobbies to the side, no more letting to-do lists get too long, no more unfinished books... 

If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.  (Unless we're talking about cotton candy ice cream, because that stuff is the bomb.)  Here's my take on what I expected my new life to be like while in la-la land...and the harsh reality.  Enjoy.    

Expectations vs. Reality:

Please note:  All of my "expectations" should be read in the voice of a bubbly, optimistic, valley girl because thinking back, that must have been how silly and naive I sounded.  Plus, it'll be more entertaining for me if I imagine you all reading it that way.  Also, I'm going to rate my expectations vs. reality on a scale of "Victory" to "Epic Fail."

Working out:

• Expectation:  "I finally get to workout all the time!  I can take all of the classes I want and join all of the gyms I want and workout under the palm trees or on the beach and I'm going to bring all of my fitness equipment on our drive down and I'm going to be in the BEST shape of my life!"
• Reality:  Aside from bringing all of my equipment with me, absolutely none of that happened.  In fact, I'm in the WORST shape of my life.  By far.  It's horribly depressing.  Turns out that moving to Mexico in the summer when the sun is sweltering by 8:00am and it's a billion percent humidity and you're being attacked by mosquitoes...working out ain't so fun anymore.  I tried several times to get back in the swing of things, only to last a few days before flaking out again.  This is the longest period of time in the last 15 years that I haven't been doing something physical (soccer, track, Krav Maga, roller derby, running, kickboxing, bootcamp, tabata, weightlifting...) several times per week.  I feel like a sack of mashed potatoes.  And to add insult to injury, Ty has lost 20 pounds since we got here and looks smokin hot without having lifted a finger...unless it was to drink a beer, of course.  Boys are annoying.  (Epic Fail.) 

Sticking to a budget:

• Expectation:  "I'm going to make a detailed spreadsheet and I'm going to be so good about tracking our expenses so we can see how much we need to live on and then we can project our blah, blah, blah..." 
• Reality:  I lasted like 3 weeks back in June and then I stopped caring and told Ty to tell me when we run out of pesos.  (Lazy fail.) 

Homemade dog food:

• Expectation:  "I'm totally gonna be one of those awesome dog moms who makes healthy, organic homemade dog food with recipes from Pinterest.  I'm gonna feed Bloo beef and brown rice and vegetables because I'll have the time to and food is so cheap there!"
• Reality:  We still buy the 50-lb bag of Purina at Costco.  Who was I kidding?  Feeding Bloo is like feeding a horse.  (Bad mom fail.  But I'm over it.) 

Read more:

• Expectation:  "Since my calendar isn't gonna be so jam-packed after we move... I'll finally have time to read those 870 books I've been wanting to read for the last decade!  I'm gonna read two books a week!  Phone down, books up!"
• Reality:  I've read two and half books in 8 months.  But I've played 131 games of Words with Friends on my phone.  (Nerdy fail.) 

Golden goddess:

• Expectation:  "I'm gonna be one of those fit, exotic, golden brown, perfectly put together women who dresses all bohemian, and never forgets to tweeze their eyebrows or lets their pedicure get raggedy or goes to the grocery store without makeup because I'm going to have so much time to take such good care of myself and I'm gonna take my vitamins everyday and actually use anti-wrinkle cream instead of just buying it......."  This list went on for a while, but I'll spare you the rest.  
• Reality:  I'm a sweaty, frizzy, makeup-less mess like 86% of the time.  And I don't even care.  (Tomboy fail.  You can't take the lazy out of a girl just because you move her to a foreign country, turns out!)

Guitar:

• Expectation:  "I'm going to reteach myself how to play the guitar again!"
• Reality:  Ty bought me a handmade Mexican guitar for my birthday last July...and the only action it gets is when the maid is dusting.  (Uninspired fail.) 

Painting:

• Expectation:  "I'm finally gonna have time to take up painting and drawing again.  Maybe I'll sell my paintings at the La Cruz Market!"
• Reality:  This one just makes me laugh... A) I didn't even keep any of my paintbrushes or art stuff when we moved, and B) I would never, ever be the type of person who has a booth at a market because I don't actually like interacting with most humans.  (Anti-social fail.)

Get over my stage freight:

• Expectation:  "Maybe I'll use this opportunity of moving to a place where no one knows me to finally get over my fear of singing in public!  I could sing at an open mic night!"
• Reality:  I still only belt it out for Ty and no one else in the privacy of our home or car.  That'll probably never change. (Who was I kidding fail.)   

Learn Spanish:

• Expectation:  "I'm gonna study Spanish for like 3 hours a day and take classes and practice all of the time." 
• Reality:  I'm calling this one my first victory!!!  When something calls for being a giant nerd...I'm your girl.  I study for fun, I make flashcards, I write things over and over again like I'm in detention, I beg Ty to quiz me constantly and we've been taking classes twice per week since November.  I'm far from fluent, but I get by...and I know I'm only going to get better and better. (Nerdy victory!)

Learn to surf...or something cool!

• Expectation:  "I'm like totally gonna learn how to surf because that's what you're supposed to do when you move to Mexico."
• Reality:  Ty and I kayaked like 10 minutes out to our friend's sailboat that was parked in front of our place the other day... Does that count for anything?  (Unadventurous fail.) 

Christmas:

• Expectation:  "Oh my gosh, babe!  We're gonna hafta get a cute, little palm tree instead of a pine tree and decorate it up for Christmas!  And we'll start our own little Mexican Christmas traditions!"
• Reality:  We skipped Christmas.  Our stockings hung empty.  There was no tree.  There was no egg nog.  I don't even think we said "Merry Christmas" to each other.  We were busy working because we had 9 guests staying at Jardin over Christmas weekend and 4 more arriving the day after...and 4 more arriving for New Year's.  I spent Christmas eve deep-cleaning and doing laundry because we insisted that the maid spend the day with her family and not come to work.  My mother-in-law sent me a photo from the Christmas dinner we missed, and I burst into tears.  Ty and I talked about having our own little Christmas after all of our guests left, but by then we didn't see the point.  (Homesick fail.) 

GoPro:

• Expectation:  (As said by Ty) "We should totally get a GoPro and film all of the cool stuff we do down in Mexico!"
• Reality:  Turns out I got a GoPro as a going away present before we left and Ty has used it exactly three times in 8 months... Zip-lining while my family was in town, once at the hot springs and once...let's call it "body surfing."  Which was really just him strapping it to his chest and walking into the waves.  If we were to film 'all the cool stuff we do'...it would mostly be of us sitting in front of a fan.  (I don't even think he even so much as looked at any of the footage, so I'm calling this one a half-ass fail.)

Blogging:

• Expectation:  "I'm gonna start a blog and document all of our adventures and how to move abroad and what it's like living as an expat and other exciting stuff!"
• Reality:  Alright, I'm calling this one victory number 2...despite the fact that this is about the least most helpful "expat blog" I've come across, but at least I've been consistent about writing it!  You're welcome.

Daaaang!  If you made it to the end, you are a true glutton for punishment...or you are very bored.  

So, I guess what it boils down to...is that even though I have more time now than I did before, I still don't do any of these things!  That must mean I don't really wanna do them...?  Apparently moving to paradise doesn't change who you are...  So, I guess I'm stuck being a sarcastic tomboy who doesn't play the guitar or paint, who still doesn't care about pedicures, who is never gonna sing in public...and who spends all of her free time studying Spanish and writing pointless blog posts.  And I'm okay with that!!  

In other news.... Ty's parents come to visit us in TEN DAYS!!!!!  When you live 2,600 miles away from all of your family and friends...it's like the most exciting thing ever when they come to visit.  Hint, hint.